Monday, March 06, 2006

Bunny & the Kommandant go to the Oscars; part the Kommandant...

Is it me or were the 2006 Oscars the most boring awards ceremony ever? I remember when the Academy Awards were wacky, entertaining and unpredictable - especially when Carson was the host. Alas, long gone are the days of people turning down their awards as political statements, streakers, crazy outfits and pointless dance numbers. Although, there were those zombified car crash victims...

I looked forward to seeing what John Stewart was going to do as host but, despite a few good one-liners that were about as political as he could get away with, for the most part he was a kinda disappointing. The clear highlight of the evening was when 3-6 Mafia briefly turned the show into the Source Awards. They also garnered the evening's most bleeps. (I don't know who was more surprised - the group themselves, or Queen Latifah when she opened the envelope.) Balanced against that were strange genre-spanning tributes that never went anywhere (I figured they were gonna give someone an special award or something, not just run a string of clips from assorted films Noir) and endless movie stars displaying their complete inability to read from a cue card. Or, perhaps, to read at all.

Despite managing to continue my decade-plus streak of not seeing any nominated film - at least not any nominated for these awards - I was as surprised as anyone (well, anyone being Bunny since she was the only person who knew about it) that I was 4-for-4 on my Oscar ballot; picking Best Actor, Actress, Director and Picture. I also hit on four or five other minor awards but missed on anything else of real significance. Some of the choices seemed like they were out of left field to me, but what do I know?

I do feel bad for Paul Giamatti, who's shaping up to become the Susan Lucci of the silver screen. Taking into consideration the Sideways snub last year and loss to Clooney this year - plus the fact that he really should have won for his role in Private Parts but wasn't even nominated - can only lead me to the conclusion that it's a conspiracy. Clearly Giamatti is doomed to never win an Academy Award because his father banned Pete Rose when he was the Commissioner of Major League Baseball. It is indeed hard out there for a pimp.

In closing, yeah - it sucked. But I'll probably still watch it next year.

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