By now we all know who won and who lost, so let's talk about what really matters - who looked good. I think the evening's attire, as well as the show itself, can be summed up in one word: yawn. I mean, I am as guilty of falling back on black as the next girl or boy. We all do it. But you know what? Wearing a black dress with sparkly accessories to your friend's wedding is one thing. Wearing a very expensive black dress with very expensive sparkly accessories to the Oscars is another thing. A lame boring thing! Am I the only one who longs for a swan dress, a gown made of American Express cards, or Cher?
Anywhoo, I don't have a whole lot to say about this year's Oscar fashions, which I think in itself says quite a bit, but it wasn't too hard for me to decide on a best dressed woman and man.
Best dressed woman: Michelle Williams
Much like the time the Kommandant made me go with him to a Siouxie And The Banshees show he was reviewing for the Philadelphia Inquirer and I wore a pink tank top and all the crazily-dressed Goths stared at me, any color was bound to stand out and draw attention to the wearer in the sea of black and nude red carpet attire. It takes some balls to wear a yellow gown though so you gotta give Ms. Williams props for that. As well as risking an onslaught of Big Bird references in the post-show commentary. (There's bound to be at least one; although I heard someone else refer to it as condiment colored.) I also liked the way she rounded out the ensemble with the vintage-y necklace, the un-done but totally done updo and the severe red lip.
Runner-up: Jennifer Lopez
I'm not really a J-Lo fan but, if nothing else, she can be counted on to show up at an awards show in something unlike what everyone else is wearing. I think I'm attracted to this dress because it's the same color we used on the walls in our guest room but I also like the shape of it. I feel like she over-accessorized though. I think she definitely could have gotten rid of either the earrings or the necklace; and maybe that short guy who was attached to her back.
Best dressed man: Tyson Beckford
I'm not sure he even was at the Oscars, but during the post show wrap up on E! I saw a taped bit from their pre-show where he took off his t-shirt and pulled his jeans down to his ankles, revealing a very well accessorized (meaning everything that could be seen above, below, and inside of) a pair of white boxer briefs. I think I heard them say he was donating the removed shirt to charity; the pants thing I suppose was a spontaneous act of charity directed towards all the hetero women and gay men in the audience. In the end the why and how of seeing Tyson in his underwear does not matter, I'm just glad to have seen it.
Runner-up: n/a
I couldn't really come up with a single worst dressed person, as I found everyone else to be kind of unmemorable. I was gonna go with that crazy ass hunter green Christian Doir jammy-jam with the pillow on the shoulder that Charlize Theron wore but I changed my mind. I still think that dress was wack but, in retrospect, I can't say she was poorly dressed because at least she gave you something interesting to look at and talk about. Actresses and stylists alike should consider this Project Runway conundrum before choosing next years Oscar dresses: what is a worse fashion crime - going too far or not going far enough? I believe the fact that Santino Rice is one the three designers chosen to show at fashion week answers that question.
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