...the B-Movie Buffet made it's humble debut as a semi-annual column on CrimsonAndCherry.com. Since then I've always kind of considered Halloween to be our "birthday", even though the BMB
site didn't officially launch until February 2005. Anywhoo, in honor of this occasion (and seeing as how the C&C archives are currently off-line and therefore currently unreadable) I thought I'd post said first column here for anyone who might care to read it. Enjoy!
In the past couple years my hubby, the Kommandant, has really wanted a DVD player. I was hesitant; for one thing, we have a perfectly good VCR - in fact we have two - and many, many videos. Why do we need a DVD player? And isn't this just going to end up being another Manitoba's Wild Kingdom situation? (This is kind of an in-joke between the Kommandant & I, basically we have that record in every available format - cassette, vinyl & CD.) It was the record player vs. CD player controversy of my college years all over again. I eventually folded and got a CD player but I still like records more than CDs. I might still be holding out on the DVD argument today but eventually he just went ahead and bought himself one for his birthday. (We have separate bank accounts so I couldn't really say anything.) I must admit I have since been won over by the new format because, for whatever reason, the powers that be of filmdom seem to be intent on releasing every and any thing they've got on DVD.
As a lover of cinema that goes below the "mainstream" radar this has definitely worked to my advantage. You can find all sorts of crap on DVD! And of course, I mean crap as a compliment. So… in honor of my new-found love of DVDs, my long-term love of weird cinema and my life-long love of Halloween I offer up a sampling of cult / B-movie DVDs that I think are just perfect for this festive holiday season. I've decided to not discriminate by rating category so I've chosen things with G ratings all the way to XXX. I'll start with the all ages fare; although now that I've said that everyone is probably going to skip to the end anyway.
Batman: The Movie (20th Century Fox) OK, so this movie isn't necessarily Halloween related but it's got plenty of masks and costumes - and what in the world is more fun, kitschy and B-movie-esque than Batman? I have seen this movie like a hundred times and I swear I could watch it a hundred times more. Where to even start? The set… the dialogue… the "special effects"… really, the movie has it all. Except Julie Newmar, my favorite Catwoman; instead they cast Lee Meriwether (AKA the lamest Catwoman) for some reason. Obviously I'm willing to overlook that since every other aspect is so cheesy and bad that it's actually great - just like the TV show. And I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they put that out on DVD. In the meantime, you can watch this.
Destroy All Monsters (ADV Films) Of course, the name Godzilla is synonymous with cult cinema and, not surprisingly, I love Godzilla movies. It was hard to choose just one but, since this one has such a mind boggling wide and varied array of classic examples of bad cinema and, as the title would imply, lots of monsters, it's a good place to start if you're new to the genre. I think it's fair to say this isn't gonna really frighten young children, unless the child is bright enough to be frightened of the thought of a major motion picture studio (which Toho is in Japan) that gets away with using string so boldly - so I'd say this is OK for family viewing. Generally speaking, Godzilla movies are for the young and young at heart alike.
Bucket Of Blood (MGM) This movie, although not particularly gory or scary by today's standards, is a little higher up on the maturity scale. It has a cohesive plot; although that's not to say it's not a wacky slice of cinema - it's a Roger Corman movie. (I think that fact speaks volumes about any movie.) It's basically about a busboy in a beatnik coffee house who secretly longs to be an artist and in with the "in" crowd. When he accidentally kills a cat and makes it into art, it seems like his dream is going to come true. Then, naturally (as in any great b-movie) wacky hi-jinx ensue. The star of the film, Dick Miller, has also been in tons of other films of various grades and I believe even had a brief stint as some sort of criminal-with-a-heart-of-gold on General Hospital.
Killer Creature Double Feature (Madacy Entertainment) I have not seen every one of the movies in this DVD series but the series as a whole is definitely of note, not only for the movies themselves but also for each DVD's incredibly odd pairings. For example, Screaming Skull, a black & white atmospheric, "psychological thriller" is paired with The Werewolf VS. Vampire Woman, an undeniably cheesy but great low budget film from 1970 starring Paul Naschy. Another equally odd pairing is the horrifyingly bad Tormented with Lady Frankenstein - I believe the only Frankenstein movie to feature Jayne Mansfield's ex-husband Mickey Hargitay, natch. Each DVD has two movies, some trailers for other titles in the series and a cartoon. What are you waiting for? Pop up some popcorn & settle in with your honey for some B-movie classics, you can always make out instead if you don't like the movie - just like at a real drive-in.
Evil Dead (Anchor Bay) I figured I had to throw one actual horror movie in here. I do like a number of larger budget horror movies but they're too big budget for this purpose. Evil Dead is low budget by my standards, although it has since gone on to much greater acclaim than probably anyone thought it would. I first saw this movie when I was in high school, and at the time it really creeped me out. Then again I was in a stranger's house (a friend of the guy I was dating at the time) that was decorated in a very weird mix of hunting ephemera and dolls, and we were all stoned to the gills - and I was sixteen. These days, it's hard not to watch it and see Bruce Campbell as the campy actor he is now known as but you still gotta love this flick, especially around Halloween.
The Adult Version of Jekyll and Hide (Something Weird) OK, everyone - now we're getting to the smutty stuff. This is a very loose interpretation (in fact, the title isn't even spelled properly) of the well known story where a certain doctor drinks a potion and turns into a blood thirsty stalker. (No relation to the Limecell song by the same name.) Only in this "Adult" version Dr Jekyll, who is a man, turns into Miss Hide - oh yes, a woman. I think they needed an excuse to get boobs into the plot-line; and, in that sense, mission accomplished. It seems the first thing any male doctor would do if he suddenly turned into a woman is feel him- (or is it her-?) self up. As far as the adult aspect, it's not what you'd call porn by today's standards. There's nudity, particularly in the form of the aforementioned boobs, and what I'll call implied sex. Maybe a little kissing around the midsection, but the camera certainly never ventures any father down than that. Nonetheless, this is 100 times more fun than every soft-core movie I've ever watched on late night cable - plus it features Rene Bond, a sure sign of B-movie fun.
Double Feature & Bride Of Double Feature (Wicked Pictures) Unlike everything else I've mentioned, these are pornos; you know, money shots… butt sex… that kind of thing. So if that kind of thing bothers you, do not rent these movies! On the other hand, if you like B-movies and porn you should go rent these movies right now. Obviously, I like the former and as far as the latter - I guess I like it more in theory than practice. If porn actually did feature people that I find attractive having hot sex, I would champion it more. But, generally speaking, it's girls that all look the same with tans and fake boobs giving head to Ron Jeremy; and that is just not that interesting. But I digress. I've seen a bit of porn in my day - in the name of science, of course - and it's rare that I find something I would recommend to anyone. Double Feature and it's equally charming sequel Bride Of Double Feature are pornos I had to watch the first time (I reviewed them) that I would voluntarily watch again.
So there you go. I hope this has illustrated that there's a whole world of film out there that has nothing to do with the new release section at Hollywood Video (I have nothing against new releases - I just hate Hollywood Video!) and plenty of bad-in-a-good-way & good-in-a-bad-way cinema out there just waiting to be appreciated. Dive in!
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