The wild world of the Wizard Of Gore; new this week at the buffet…

While we're patiently waiting for the next issue of carbon 14 to make it's way through the printing process we thought we'd briefly veer away from the BMB review pile to bring you a fresh, tasty slice of soon-to-be-hot-off-the-presses content from our hopefully soon-to-be-hot-off-the-presses pages: a look at the eye popping films of Herschell Gordon Lewis, This Stuff'll Kill Ya! Tune in next week for the reviews that Bunny couldn't fit into the layout no matter how hard she tried.

A double dose of vampiric villainy; new this week at the buffet...

The Kommandant sinks his teeth into the wacky outfits and thinly veiled plot of Hammer's Dracula A.D. 1972 & Phil D. Ford barks at a Tromatic tale of vampires, Satanists, Egyptians and evil glowing orbs, Scarlet Moon.

A big bad mama meets the man behind the mask; new this week at the buffet…

The Kommandant investigates a classic tale of men, money and moonshine, Big Bad Mama; and Bunny returns to Camp Crystal Lake for the sixth installment of 2006: The Year Of The 13ths, Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives.

Venus vs. Venus; new this week at the buffet…

Bunny submits herself to an obscure slice of sixties sexploitation, Joe Marzano's Venus In Furs; and The Kommandant gets on top of Jess Franco's seductive, surreal sexcapade, Venus In Furs.

Life's span & blind death; new this week at the buffet…

Whenever we're in the production stages of an issue of c14, I tend to get a bit of tunnel vision and end up immersing myself in assorted things being featured in the issue. With #27, for example, I spent a whole month watching Blaxploitation films and listening to Steve Wilson-era Rancid Vat (the subject of Thee Whiskey Rebel's column) and Turbonegro's Party Animals. (It was reviewed twice, by Falling James & Alex Richmond, who also wrote a great travel piece for that issue centering around her pilgrimage to the '05 Turbojugend Astra Meeting.)

Of course, with the production of a new issue comes new things to immerse myself in so for the past month I've been watching Herschell Gordon Lewis films (in preparation for our upcoming BMB retrospective) and listening to Redd Kross (with the Kommandant, in preparation for his interview with Steve McDonald.)

I bring all this up here because this week's menu offerings are also partially inspired by the next issue - specifically Dante's Six Pack Sinema column about The Blind Dead. I was really trying to wait until the issue was done to delve into this quad-rilogy but after the third read-through, I caved in. Thus this week's review of the OG of Blind Dead flicks, Tombs Of The Blind Dead.

Also new to the BMB this week, the Kommandant explores a mysterious exploration into the mystery of life, Lifespan.

Cursed castles & knife-wielding kooks; new this week at the buffet…

The Kommandant returns to his Corman Corner to catch Rog's take on Edgar Allan Poe's demonic tale of the ungodly, The Fall Of The House Of Usher.

And Bunny is pleased to meet the acquaintance of a macabre story of two motorcycle-riding, knife-wielding, shiv-shaving, arm-twisting, chain-lashing, scalpel-flashing, acid-throwing, gun-shooting, bone-breaking, pathological nuts and their pal the undertaker… The Undertaker And His Pals.

Kung-fu killers & slashed strippers; new this week at the buffet…

Bunny attempts to measure up to the confounding kung-fu of For Your Height Only and meet the Challenge Of The Tiger; while the Kommandant bares all about the terrifying dance of death that is Stripped To Kill II.

If Jason still haunts you, you're not alone...

...but if you are alone, especially if you're alone in the dark, then look out! Cause that's when he'll try to kill you.

Jason Voorhees doesn't really kill anybody in today's installment of 2006: The Year Of The 13ths, Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning, but don't worry - plenty of people do live long enough to die horrible deaths at the hand of some dude in a hockey mask and that's what we're all here for.

Murderous madmen, gun-toting gangsters and extra-troubled teens; new this week at the buffet...

We were supposed to host an in-house photo shoot for Thee Minks' upcoming 7" this past Sunday but the lovely Miss Liz Lixx rescheduled us, leaving the Kommandant and I with a rare day off. We considered staying home and working on the next issue of c14, which is due to go to the printer at the end of the month - for about a minute. Instead we decided to go out for brunch and hit a flea market in Lambertville, NJ.

The Country Host tends to be a little pricey for our tastes, featuring a lot of vendors selling expensive "antiques" of questionable age, assorted forms of advertising paraphernalia and hand carved seating made of trees. It's usually fun for browsing purposes though and sometimes there are tables filled with cheap junk - which is much more up our alley than brass clocks in the shape of various animals, giant coca-cola signs and tree benches. (Those are actually kind of cool if you're into that type of thing.)

My browsing resulted in the acquisition of two vintage enamel flower pins and a stack of sleaze paperbacks; plus a pair of sunburned shoulders. It was looking like the Kommandant was going to walk away empty handed - which hardly ever happens, as there are dollar record bins at pretty much every flea market we've ever been to and he hasn't met a dollar record bin that didn't contain a piece of vinyl he thought he might like. But then he came across a cranky old dude overseeing table after table of dusty old VHS tapes.

They seemed to be cast-offs from a defunct Blockbuster so the wobbly tables were laden with comedies, chick flicks and children's stuff but he persevered and unearthed copies of Mighty Peking Man, a movie we've already seen but agreed we would watch again; Stripped To Kill II, a Roger Corman produced sequel to a mid-'80s slasher flick neither of us had ever heard of; and a movie we kept meaning to rent in order to review as part of our Decade That Dripped Blood column but never quite got around to it, Sleepaway Camp. (Oddly enough the three tapes together cost a dollar less than it would have cost us to rent any of them from our local video store.)

I've been wanting to see Sleepaway Camp since I watched a somewhat recent interview with Felissa Rose where she reflects on her role as sullen pre-teen camper Angela. (The interview was part of the extras section on Troma's Slaughter Party DVD, which I reviewed earlier in the year; I totally and unknowingly spoiled the whole plot of SC in the one sentence I wrote about it in said review, so don't read that if you wanna be somewhat surprised by the ending.) I must admit, it definitely lived up to my expectations of being one crazy f'ed up movie. Interested parties can read the Kommandant's thoughts on this most unusual slasher flick here.

Also new to the buffet menu this week is a double dose of darkly lit film noir-esque "krimis", Monster Of London City and Secret Of The Red Orchid.

Hillbilly hellcats and psychic sea sirens; new this week at the buffet…

We have two new additions to the menu this week, served with a side order of self-referential trivia. The side order will be served first:

Do you know which star of Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women has had her portrait painted by Alberto Vargas, is rumored to have had affairs with Elvis Presley and Howard Hughes (among other famous men), and is one of the most famous people to ever grace the pages of our humble magazine, carbon 14? Why it's none other than fabulous blond bombshell Mamie Van Doren! The interview was done by the equally fabulous and bombshell-y, but not blond, Justice Howard and appeared in issue #20, along with some stunning photos of Mamie taken by Justice.

Please excuse the plug by the way, but I couldn't help myself from mentioning it - it's one of our biggest interview coups ever, right up there with Thee Whiskey Rebel's Merle Haggard interview and Falling James' two part Jayne County interview. Anywhoo, I now return you to our regularly scheduled update.

This week Bunny has her eyeballs singed by a scorching double feature of crazed country carnality, Hip, Hot And 21 and Hot Thrills And Warm Chills; while the Kommandant travels to a world where the women are beautiful and the men are spliced in from another movie, Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women.

A double dose of delinquency; new this week at the buffet…

The Kommandant learns a harsh lesson about schoolyard politics from the Class Of 1984.

And Bunny gets schooled in how not to behave around a nuclear power plant from the Class Of Nuke 'Em High.

Teenage Wolfman meets Teenage Frankenstein meets Teenage Dracula; new this week at the buffet…

If I may revisit a topic from last week, I think the Kommandant has finally kicked his WIP habit. At least temporarily. I'd like to take credit for that but, in truth, it was a dusty VHS tape he unearthed from a box in the basement over the weekend that provided the straw that - finally! - broke the back of this film rut. The offender: Amazon Jail. Trust me, the atrocities suffered by these imprisoned women was nothing compared to the atrocity of sitting through this movie. Watch at your own risk.

As for this week's offerings, we have a double dose of late '50s AIP teen trash, How To Make A Monster and Blood Of Dracula.

Thursday April 13th is Jason's unlucky day…

On this 13th day of the fourth month of 2006: The Year Of The 13ths please join us as we venture back to Crystal Lake a fourth time for the most inappropriately named installment in the series (aside from part 9, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday) Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter.

Caged birds & fully realized lovedolls; new this week at the buffet...

I don't know about the rest of you but in our recreational movie watching we tend to get into what I call a genre rut - where we watch a whole bunch of similar movies in a row. For reasons unknown to us all, The Kommandant's been on a bit of a WIP kick lately. Subsequently, in the past couple weeks I've seen more braless women and group delousings than I ever thought I would see in my lifetime. And I think I've developed a bit of a crush on Sid Haig. (On an unrelated note, am I the only one who's noticed how much a mid-'70s Haig resembles a current day Santino Rice?)

These genre ruts also seems to reflect what we write about on the site, and to that end one of this week's new additions is the Kommandant's completely biased thoughts on The Big Bird Cage, by far the cream o' the crop of the chicks in chains movies we've watched in this cycle. If you're only going to see one movie featuring forced female imprisonment, sadistic prison guards, stoned revolutionaries, and one really, really tall wooden structure that refines sugar and crushes mouthy slave girls, I highly recommend you make it this one.

Also new to the menu this week - but totally unrelated to the above paragraphs in any way - is the much anticipated (by me anyway) newly released director's cut of Dave Markey's sequel to Desperate Teenage Lovedolls, Lovedolls Superstar Fully Realized.

Lusty ladies & satanic schoolgirls; new this week at the buffet…

I interrupt our regularly scheduled weekly update announcement to bring you the following announcement from our friends at Zombastic Films…

YOU ARE AMONG THE FIRST TO HEAR THE BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG NEWS

This week we finally signed a distribution deal for North America. Image Entertainment is the company that will be releasing DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! on DVD.

Image is also the home to the films of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Ed Wood, Mario Bava and Jess Franco as well as the Something Weird, Criterion & Playboy collections. We're simply thrilled to think that DYZB! will be hitting the stores in such esteemed company. We're hoping that the aforementioned hitting of the stores will happen before the end of 2006, but there's no way to tell for sure at this point. Things are certainly moving in the right direction, however. Fingers are crossed. Rest assured that we will keep you posted, O Zombastic Faithful.

Congratulations guys! You totally deserve it.

And now back to our update. Freshly uploaded to the buffet menu this week is an absolutely sacrilicious tale of sin and sisterhood, Don't Deliver Us From Evil, and a double dose of sleazy sexploitation shenanigans, She Mob & Nymphs Anonymous.

The Curse Of Debbie Does Dallas...

As we have already covered many times over, I love a documentary. I didn't necessarily love this particular documentary but I didn't not love it. I suppose you could say I liked it. It definitely had it's plusses and minuses though. On the plus side it had Herschel Savage (who I like for some reason) and interviews with Bill Kelly & Pat Livingstone. (If you read The Other Hollywood you may remember these guys as the main men behind the MIPORN operation. And if you haven't read that book, you really should; it's fantastic.) On the minus side, there was curiously little information disseminated and in the end, I realized I still didn't know what the title was making reference to. Was there a curse? And if so, what was it?

I think part of the filmmakers' thesis is that because Bambi Woods disappeared from the film industry, adult or otherwise, shortly after the film's release, that it "cursed" her career but I don't know; if I was her, I might have gone into hiding too. Just between you, me & the lamppost, Debbie Does Dallas isn't all that great of a movie. When the Kommandant & I watched it (purely for research purposes of course) I remember thinking that she kind of looked like she showed up on set to deliver lunch and wound up accidentally starring in a dirty movie that accidentally ended up being one of the most well known porn films of all time. I will say this much, when I eventually get around to seeing Desperately Seeking Seka there better be a fifty-something Seka by the end of the film.

Mysterious masked murderers and fanged femme fatales; new this week at the buffet…

Bunny attempts to unravel the mystery of who killed who, where, and with what buried deep within Jess Franco's Night Of The Skull.

And the Kommandant chimes in with his thoughts on the atmospheric and bloodless coup of Slaughter Of The Vampires.

The good, the bad and the confusing; or, random thoughts on random films I watched this month...

Petey Wheatstraw - The more Rudy Ray Moore movies I see, the more of an appreciation I have for the man. This is the third RRM flick; some of the regulars from the first two are back, my favorite being J.B. Baron, the redneck sheriff in Human Tornado. (Appearing here as the flustered and bumbling ghetto doctor.) Comedy duo Skillet and Leroy have major supporting roles, but Moore (in the title role) takes Wheatstraw over the top. Some of the intentional playing up of old stereotypes like watermelon eating are hilarious as well, and the birth of Petey is so ridiculous it's like the comedic equivalent of the delivery scene from It's Alive. Unfortunately, they just don't make movies like this anymore.

Moog - Moog is the perfect example of great subject matter and disappointing execution. The best thing this rambling, un-focused documentary has to offer are the frequently, possibly unintentionally, funny comments of Rick Wakeman. Mostly it's Bob Moog in various places talking to the camera or talking to various colleagues and musicians about experiences with the synths that bear his name. And the soundtrack is annoyingly loud, particularly during the interview sequences.

Beat Girl - A puzzling UK JD flick from 1960; the plot boils down to the teenage rebellion of a girl who's pissed at daddy and his new wife, who happens to be a "ancient" 24-year old foxy French babe. Turns out stepmom did a bit of strippin' and prostitutin' to make ends meet back in the day, which we learn courtesy of sleazy strip club owner Christopher Lee. (He is the saving grace of this picture.) The rest of it all boils down to the girl hanging out with her friends, trying to be cooler than everyone else; constantly saying and doing things that make her stepmom smack her in the face and her squaresville dad throw his hands in the air yelling, "These words! What do they mean? What are you saying?" After watching the film, I was left thinking the same thing—except I think I understood what they were saying.

A cornucopia of Sarno-ality; new this week at the buffet...

As you may imagine, I occasionally do other things besides watching and reviewing movies. One of my numerous "day jobs" is serving as the defacto art department for the record label the Kommandant & I run, Steel Cage Records.

As far as jobs go, it's a pretty damn good one; and one I rarely, if ever, complain about. Because I love to design shit! One thing I really love to design is posters. I can't speak for other graphic artists - maybe this is just a reflection of my other interests - but I take a lot of inspiration from old movie posters.

I bring all of this up here because I have taken a lot of inspiration from the posters for movies made by the director responsible for all three of this week's featured buffet items - Joe Sarno. Particularly I love his mid-'60s period where the majority of his films feature seamy tales of suburban sin. The poster for The Love Merchant, for example, inspired this Hot Damn poster I did for their most recent SCR release.

I hadn't actually seen the movie prior to making the poster, but now that I have, I definitely recommend it. It's right up there with Sin In The Suburbs or The Swap (And How They Make It).

Also new to the menu this week are two additional slices of Sarno-sploitation, The Layout and The Devil's Plaything.

3-D action & two-wheel traction; new this week at the buffet...

It's March 13th, aka the 13th day of the third month of 2006: The Year Of The 13ths, so prepare yourself for the snake jumpin-est, glass smashin-est, eye gougin-est, pointy object throwin-est entry in the series Friday The 13th Part 3.

Also new to the menu this week, the biggest, baddest, best-est biker blaxploitation movie ever, The Black Six.