the b-movie buffet blog

Sci-fi vs. spy-fi; new this week at the buffet...

2010-03-05T16:14:00.003-05:00

This week the Kommandant stalks Elio Petri's sci-fi satire The 10th Victim.

While Bunny investigates '60s spy-fi flick Deadlier Than The Male.

And on that note, the BMB is on holiday! We will return to our semi-regular schedule of semi-regular weekly updates the first week of May.

Crime and punishment, Franco style; new this week at the buffet...

2010-02-26T15:59:00.003-05:00

This week we reopen the Franco Files for a double dose of devilish plots and dubious deeds; and devilish deeds and dubious plots.

First join Bunny and spend the night with a diabolical super-villain in The Castle Of Fu Manchu.

Then join the Kommandant and read into a new twist on an old fable, Incubus.

School's out forever; new this week at the buffet...

2010-02-19T19:02:00.006-05:00

This week the BMB studies up on the slasher flick.

First join the Kommandant & attend a "killer back to school party," Class Reunion Massacre.

Then join Bunny as she heads for The Decade That Dripped Blood and pledges to sit through The House On Sorority Row.

Ants that can move rubber tree plants; new this week at the buffet...

2010-02-12T16:06:00.004-05:00

This week the Kommandant comes face to pincer with ravenous invaders controlled by a terror out in space, commanded to annihilate the world, Phase IV.

While Bunny fends off a horror horde of crawl-and-crush giants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs, Them!

Mystical fires and kinky desires; new this week at the buffet...

2010-02-05T19:11:00.003-05:00

This week the Kommandant gets lit up by a psychedelic tale of good versus evil, Born Of Fire.

While Bunny paints a picture about a picture that goes beyond her imagination, The Sexploiters.

Robot reanimation & medical experimentation; new this week at the buffet...

2010-01-28T16:14:00.008-05:00

Hey everybody!

Sorry for the unexpectedly long absence. I got chicken pox right after the New Year holiday (literally, on January 2nd) and I'm just getting back on track.

We should be resuming our somewhat regular schedule of regular updates as of this week's update so on that note...

Join the Kommandant as he tries to stop the progress of '90s post apocalyptic sci-fi thriller Hardware.

Then join Bunny as she goes underground with a freak of nature whose crimes go beyond her wildest terror, Hunchback Of The Morgue.

Exploitation down under and wartime thunder; new this week at the buffet...

2009-12-18T18:35:00.002-05:00

This week the Kommandant takes off with the mother of all macaroni combat films, Eagles Over London.

While Bunny gets an education in the wild, untold story of Ozploitation from Mark Hartley's Not Quite Hollywood.

****

An on that note, Happy Holidays everyone!

We'll be taking our annual non-denominational holiday break for the last two weeks of December so, since I won't be writing one of these until literally next year, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a festive season and a happy 2010.

We'll see you back here the first week of January for another year of B-Movie goodness.

Cheers!

Hi-jinx and hemoglobin; new this week at the buffet...

2009-12-11T18:23:00.003-05:00

This week Bunny laps up a double bill of totally kooky, somewhat kinky kitty krime, Kitten In A Cage & The Girl From Pussycat.

While the Kommandant makes himself at home with Jorge Grau's, The Legend Of Blood Castle.

Brazen Brass; new this week at the buffet...

2009-12-04T18:50:00.005-05:00

This week we set the wayback machine for Italy circa 1969 to ingest a double dose of dubious ideas courtesy the ever artsy fartsy lens of Tinto Brass.

First Bunny develops an aversion to the psychedelic pop art experiment of Attraction (Nerosubianco).

Then The Kommandant quietly comments on surreal "cult classic" The Howl.

Gobble gobble hey...

2009-11-26T11:55:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

I completely forgot to mention this last week but this week there will be no update. We're hosting turkey day dinner and will be a little too occupied with food and guests this weekend (and the aftermath of food and guests) to be working.

We will return to our somewhat regular schedule next week with a double dose of Brazen Brass; Tinto Brass that is. (And seriously, both of these films look crazy!!)

Anywhoo, wherever you're going and whatever you're eating, I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Cheers!

Corpses and curses; new this week at the buffet...

2009-11-20T18:02:00.003-05:00

This week the BMB travels from the boggy moors of Scotland to the swampy swamplands of Florida to bring you a trio of tasty tongue-in-cheek horror flicks.

First join Bunny as she digs the legend of legendary body snatchers Burke And Hare.

Then join the Kommandant as he dives into a double dose of deep South sinema, Death Curse Of Tartu & Sting Of Death.

Female trouble & troubled females; new this week at the buffet...

2009-11-13T18:47:00.003-05:00

This week the Kommandant returns to the Hammer vaults to sift through the sands of fantasy film She.

While Bunny marvels at the wonders of Filipino exploitation flick Wonder Women.

PS: I would have offered up a menu of appropriately named entrees to celebrate the Friday the 13th aspect of this date on the calendar but I think we pretty much covered all of those bases a few years back with our 2006: The Year Of The 13ths feature.

Murder, mayhem & more murder and mayhem; new this week at the buffet...

2009-11-06T17:47:00.003-05:00

This week we officially return to our somewhat regularly scheduled program with two relatively new DVD releases featuring two relatively obscure films.

First Bunny shines a light on a moody, atmospheric slice of British horror / noir, Daughter Of Darkness.

Then the Kommandant throws a rope over the bow of Paul Naschy flick The Hanging Woman.

Gourds, gore and girls; new this week at the buffet...

2009-10-30T13:54:00.009-05:00

Happy mischief night everybody!

Well, technically it's mischief afternoon... and now that I think about it, on the West Cost it's actually still mischief morning... but what can I say except I have other plans this evening and wanted to get this update off of my to-do list as early in the day as possible.

Anywhoo, on behalf of the BMB staff - yes, all three of us! - I invite you to grab a plate, step up to the buffet and help us celebrate our collective favorite holiday with a maniacal monster-iffic menu of horror "classics".

First join the Kommandant as he brandishes his rustiest kitchen utensil and carves into curious post-slasher flick Jack-O.

Then join Bunny (and the actual host of the DVD, Elvira) and dive into a devilish double feature featuring Maneater Of Hydra & The House That Screamed.

Seamen and tree men; new this week at the buffet...

2009-10-13T19:27:00.001-05:00

As promised in yesterday's post, this week the BMB returns to cyberspace with a seasonally appropriate surf and turf style creature double feature.

First join Bunny as she goes monster hunting island style to get to the roots of atom age sci-fi flick From Hell It Came.

Then join the Kommandant as he baits his hook and reels in Sergio Martino's Island Of The Fishmen.

Good news everybody!

2009-10-12T18:27:00.003-05:00

Well, good news for those of you who enjoy the site. (And if you don't... uh, why are you still reading this?)

This evening I will be putting the finishing touches on a fresh, tasty update and tomorrow evening the B-Movie Buffet will make it's somewhat triumphant return to cyberspace. Yay!

Then - in an ironic twist of fate - we will be celebrating the momentous occasion by taking the following week off.

(Sorry! We're gonna be without internet access Tues - Thurs. of that week so there's not too much I can do about it.)

We will however return to our previously rather regular schedule of regular weekly updates as of the last week of October, barring any other natural or unnatural disaster.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Anywhoo, tune in tomorrow for a creature double feature featuring From Hell It Came & Island Of The Fishmen.

Vampire obsession and satanic possession; new this week at the buffet...

2009-06-26T17:51:00.003-05:00

This week Bunny stakes out Roman Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Killers.

While the Kommandant survives indie horror flick GothKill.

And on that note, the buffet is on holiday!

We will return to our regularly scheduled schedule sometime in the Fall. (I'm hoping to have things up and running early in September & will try to keep this page updated with my / our progress.)

Sons and daughters; new this week at the buffet...

2009-06-19T16:28:00.002-05:00

In honor of Father's Day, we serve up this week's BMB menu family style.

First join Bunny as she straps up her gladiator sandals for a date with the Son Of Samson.

Then join the Kommandant as he fails to fall under the spell of sapphic softcore vampire flick Vampyres, aka Daughters of Dracula.

*****

In other news, this year our annual summer break will be extended by a couple weeks; we will be taking off the entire month of July.

(To make a long story slightly less long, we normally take off the last two weeks of the month, so I don't have to update the site while we're on vacation, but this year my July weekend calendar is extra booked and I will only be home on one Friday night out of the month. So, at the risk of sounding selfish, I decided to make my life a little easier by not trying to squeeze site updates into an already somewhat hectic schedule.)

Of course, it'll still be June next Friday so I'll see you then!

Ghosts, guns and girls; new this week at the buffet...

2009-06-12T17:45:00.004-05:00

This week the Kommandant listens to the rhythms of Paul Nacshy's Panic Beats.

In the latest installment of Manor On Movies, Stately Wayne Manor gets arrested by Samurai Cop.

And Bunny reads the charts of The Virgo, The Taurus And The Capricorn.

Docurama-Rama; new this week at the buffet...

2009-06-05T17:11:00.001-05:00

This week the BMB veers slightly off topic to serve up a heapin' helpin' of grade A music related documentary.

First join Bunny and get in the van for a ride with Pansy Division: Life In A Gay Rock Band.

Then join the Kommandant and tune in, turn on and rock out to You're Gonna Miss Me: A Film About Roky Erickson.

Brides and blood; new this week at the buffet...

2009-05-29T18:08:00.002-05:00

This week the BMB offers up two less than traditional takes on the traditional vampire lore.

First Bunny returns to the vaults of Hammer horror to be engaged by Brides Of Dracula.

Then the Kommandant is suitably fascinated by Jean Rollin's bloody Fascination.

Devilish demons and demonic dames; new this week at the buffet...

2009-05-22T16:12:00.003-05:00

This week join the Kommandant as he gets a work out exorcising the inner demon of The Incubus.

Then join Bunny as she opens the Franco Files and closes the book on his psychedelic S&M horror flick, Succubus.

Pin-ups and power tools; new this week at the buffet...

2009-05-15T17:33:00.003-05:00

This week Bunny turns the page on '70s slasher flick The Centerfold Girls.

While the Kommandant fixes his eyes on The Toolbox Murders.

Killers; new this week at the buffet...

2009-05-08T17:23:00.004-05:00

This week the Kommandant satisfies his spy-fi tooth by unwrapping The Killer Likes Candy.

While Bunny heads for the department of redundancy department to investigate why The Killer Must Kill Again.

William Castle's castle of freaks; new this week at the buffet...

2009-05-01T17:36:00.003-05:00

This week we've got a double bill of classic black and white B movies featuring the winning combination of William Castle and Vincent Price.

First join the Kommandant and spend the night in the House On Haunted Hill.

Then join Bunny and feel the vibrations of The Tingler.

Murder a la mod; new this week at the buffet...

2009-04-24T16:10:00.003-05:00

This week the BMB serves up a double helping of stylish, pseudo-psychedelic, sexy Italian thrillers.

First the Kommandant survives, and remains cavity free, after biting into Tinto Brass' Deadly Sweet.

Then Bunny visits the Trattoria Of Terror and takes a swat at Dario Argento's Four Flies On Grey Velvet.

Ass and gas (but no grass); new this week at the buffet...

2009-04-17T18:03:00.002-05:00

This week we head back to the ever sleazy '70s for a double dose of sexploitation sinema sure to satisfy. Or induce sleep. Possibly both.

First, loose ends are secured as Bunny gets tied up with the third and final entry in the Ginger series, Girls Are For Loving.

Then Kommandant pulls over for "an erotic version of Homer's Odyssey in the truck driver's world", Truck Stop.

Ginger and Giallo; new this week at the buffet...

2009-04-10T17:34:00.002-05:00

This week Bunny picks up the trail of the world's sexiest super-sleuth with the second entry in the Ginger series, The Abductors.

While Giallo Biafra returns to his Trattoria Of Terror to put the bite on Sergio Martino's Scorpion With Two Tails.

The BMB is back in town!

2009-04-03T18:35:00.004-05:00

This week we return to our regularly scheduled regular schedule with a trio of trash sure to satisfy even the quirkiest of B-movie tastes - particularly if your tastes include really offensive sexually perverted dwarves.

And I ain't talking about Blag Dahlia! (Who probably is sexually perverted but I actually find quite charming.)

Anywhoo, first join Bunny and head back to the sleazy '70s - circa New Jersey no less - to book a fitting with the best secret weapon to ever wear a dress, Ginger.

Then, in the latest installment of Manor On Movies, join the one the only the Stately Wayne Manor as he taxies around Hangar 18 (aka Invasion Force).

And finally, just in case your eyes have not been thoroughly soiled, join the Kommandant and prepare to be challenged by the vertically challenged "mother of all 'dwarfsploitation' films", The Sinful Dwarf.

Deadly doctors and devilish dealings; new this week at the buffet...

2009-03-13T15:57:00.003-05:00

This week we set the wayback machine for the Philippines circa the late '60s / early '70s for a double helping of dubious storylines and badly delivered dialogue.

First the Kommandant attempts to tame Eddie Romero's Beast Of The Yellow Night.

Then Bunny conducts exploratory surgery on the second entry in the Blood Island series, Mad Doctor Of Blood Island.

And on an unrelated topic, as of this update the BMB is on Spring Break. We will return to our regularly scheduled regular schedule on or around April 3rd. See you then!

Mantis versus scorpion; new this week at the buffet...

2009-03-06T19:35:00.004-05:00

This week Giallo Biafra takes a table in the Trattoria Of Terror and gets stung by The Case Of The Scorpion's Tail.

While Bunny takes a trip with a psychedelic slasher flick meets softcore sex romp, Mantis In Lace.

Slaughter or be slaughtered; new this week at the buffet...

2009-02-27T19:03:00.006-05:00

This week we round out our month long salute to soul cinema with a double shot of Jim Brown.

First join the Kommandant & meet a man whose name is his business... and sometimes... his pleasure, Slaughter.

Then join Bunny & follow up by slicing into the sequel, Slaughter's Big-Ripoff.

Ebony and ebony; new this week at the buffet...

2009-02-20T19:21:00.004-05:00

In the third installment of our month long salute to soul sinema we serve up two piping hot, particularly politically incorrect entrees.

First, join the Kommandant as he laces up his marching boots for a synchronized walk with The Black Gestapo.

Then join Bunny and lather up for an appointment with '70s sexploitation / blaxploitation non-classic Black Shampoo.

Man to man; new this week at the buffet...

2009-02-13T18:20:00.005-05:00

This week our salute to blaxploitation cinema continues with a double dose of super fly action flicks.

First Bunny comes face to face with the highest flying, toughest talking, hardest hitting dude the world has ever faced, That Man Bolt.

Then Kommandant remains untroubled after meeting up with by a man as cold as hard steel, Trouble Man.

Medical malpractice and photographic evidence; new this week at the buffet...

2009-02-05T22:01:00.001-05:00

This week we kick off our month long salute to blaxploitation cinema with two films that really don't have much in common; except that we haven't reviewed them previously.

That said, first join the Kommandant as he gets shocked by one of the schlockiest versions of Mary Shelly's classic tale ever committed to celluloid, Blackenstein.

Then join Bunny as she focuses in on the swingin' '70s and takes a snapshot of classic Pam Grier action flick Friday Foster.

Happy birthday to us!

2009-02-01T15:52:00.010-05:00

As mentioned on the blog numerous times previously, the B-Movie Buffet has a few different anniversaries, marking various starting points in our relatively brief tenure. Obviously, today is one of those days.

Specifically four years ago on this date I launched the BMB into cyberspace, thus turning my web column turned print column into a webzine. I don't have a whole lot else to say on that subject except - yay!

And thanks to all of our contributors, the kind people / companies that send us DVDs to review each and every week and, of course, our readers (if you're reading this, that means you!) for your support and encouragement.

This year I wanted to do something a little different to mark the occasion. In our "brainstorming session" the Kommandant suggested a salute to blaxploitation cinema (since our birthday month is shared with Black History Month) which sounded like a fun idea to me. Especially since I couldn't come up with a better one.

With that in mind, tune in later this week for the first of three special double feature menus; kicking things off with a film totally self-explanatory from the title, Blackenstein, and Friday Foster starring the ever foxy Pam Grier.

As an appetizer, here's a sampling of links to previously reviewed, similarly minded films. Enjoy!

Abby
Blacula
The Black 6
Black Caesar
Cleopatra Jones
Cleopatra Jones And The Casino Of Gold
Coffy
Final Comedown
Foxy Brown
Human Tornado
Lady Cocoa
Mean Johhny Barrows
Scream Blacula Scream
Shaft
Soul Vengeance
Velvet Smooth
Willie Dynamite

Hypnotic states and cursed fates; new this week at the buffet...

2009-01-30T19:20:00.005-05:00

This week the BMB unveils our newest semi-regularly updated column, The Franco Files; where we focus our zoom lens on the collected works of much revered / reviled Eurotrash director Jess Franco.

This week the Kommandant stays up late to find out why Nightmares Come At Night.

While Bunny gets tied up with spooky, kooky atmospheric thriller The Sadistic Baron Von Klaus.

Midway mayhem and serious sibling rivalry; new this week at the buffet...

2009-01-23T17:24:00.003-05:00

Bunny successfully refrains from quoting any Stooges lyrics in her review of '80s horror flick, The Funhouse.

The Kommandant checks his straitjacket at the door and spends the night in Ovidio G. Assonitis' Madhouse.

Man haters and hateful men; new this week at the buffet...

2009-01-16T17:43:00.002-05:00

This week the Kommandant gets vocal about Pete Walker's Die Screaming Marianne.

While Bunny's hinges remain intact after watching semi-obscure semi-slasher flick Unhinged.

Freaks and beaks; new this week at the buffet...

2009-01-09T19:27:00.004-05:00

Happy (somewhat belated) new year everybody! We now return you to our regularly scheduled schedule of weekly updates with two hot and relatively tasty - or at least entertaining - '70s shockers.

First up, Bunny finally gets a taste of one of sinemas most elusive B-grade turkeys, Blood Freak.

Then the Kommandant comes face to face with a man who can think of 1000 way to kill him, psychically and otherwise, Psychic Killer.

Have yourself a very Mary Christmas; new this week at the buffet...

2008-12-24T22:28:00.004-05:00

This week we've got a semi-seasonally appropriate menu featuring two films starring BMB fave Mary Woronov.

First join the Kommandant as he gasses up and hits the track for a ride with cult classic Death Race 2000.

Then join Bunny and salute the season with an R-rated, somewhat X-Mas themed horror flick, Silent Night Bloody Night.

*****

On that note, the B-Movie Buffet is taking a brief holiday & will return to our regularly scheduled schedule of weekly updates on or around January 8th. See you then!

RIP Bill Landis

2008-12-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

In his own words:

"Bill Landis founded Sleazoid Express in 1980 as a biweekly newsletter, the first publication to record exploitation films as a serious cinematic art form. Throughout the early through mid 1980s he immersed himself in the red light world of the pre-Disneyfied Times Square and documented his associates and experiences. Afterwards Landis joined forces with his penultimate collaborator, Michelle Clifford, who revived Sleazoid Express in a monograph format, and later co-authored the book of the same title. Landis also contributed to Clifford's monograph Metasex, which deals with the more sexually charged aspects of the vice world. Landis and Clifford wrote Anger, the unauthorized bio of underground filmmaker Kenneth Anger. They have been interviewed in the books Clayton Patterson's Captured and Creeping Flesh. Landis has contributed to Taschen's hefty bio of Vanessa del Rio, the Soho News, New York Rocker, Village Voice, Film Comment, Hustler, Screw, Penthouse, the Hungover Gourmet, Carbon 14, Maxim and Time Out New York. Landis and Clifford curated the Grindhouse Festival at the Music Box Theater in Spring 2007, and were profiled in Time Out Chicago, Time Out New York, and Flaunt Magazines. Landis and Clifford, have hosted many exploitation film festivals from the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco, and, locally, the Art Institute of Chicago."

He was also our friend. Rest in peace Bill.

Lunar lunacy; new this week at the buffet...

2008-12-18T19:16:00.004-05:00

This week the Kommandant barks at Jess Franco's slasher-style sexploitation flick Bloody Moon.

While Stately Wayne Manor performs exploratory surgery on Mexploitation classic Night Of The Bloody Apes.

Nature vs. monster; new this week at the buffet...

2008-12-11T20:18:00.002-05:00

This week we fill up on a double dose of "cult camp classics" featuring two examples of nature gone wrong.

First join the Kommandant as he gets electrified by The Giant Behemoth.

Then join Bunny as she gets primitive with Joan Crawford's final film, Trog.

Whips and witches; new this week at the buffet...

2008-12-04T15:30:00.003-05:00

This week we set the wayback machine for the United Kingdom circa the sexy seventies for two trashy exploitation flicks starring the lovely Ann Michelle.

First join the Kommandant as he cracks the whip on Pete Walker's House Of Whipcord.

Then watch in semi-horror as Bunny deflowers witchy British sexploitation flick Virgin Witch.

Blue eyes and disco-related demise; new this week at the buffet...

2008-11-28T13:52:00.002-05:00

This week Bunny sets her brown eyes on Paul Naschy's Blue Eyes Of The Broken Doll.

While the Kommandant puts on his dancing shoes for the first slasher musical, Splatter Disco.

Lust, lunacy and lusty lunatics; new this week at the buffet...

2008-11-20T16:55:00.001-05:00

This week we've got a double dose of '70s style fleshy Eurotrash fun sure to satisfy fans of the genre.

First join the Kommandant and line up to see an appalling amalgam of carnage & carnality, The Flesh & Blood Show.

Then join Bunny as she unfolds a sleazy Eurotrash thriller replete with plot twists and decapitated heads, In The Folds Of The Flesh.

Tight pants and loose morals; new this week at the buffet...

2008-11-13T22:09:00.003-05:00

This week we've got a sampling of somewhat sadistic sexploitation flicks from the over-the-top '80s and sinful '60s.

First join the Kommandant as he sets his wayback machine to Los Angeles circa 1984 for a revenge and jumpsuit laden stroll through Savage Streets.

Then it's off to New York City to join Bunny as she takes in a tawdry triple feature featuring The Ultimate Degenerate, The Lusting Hours & In Hot Blood.

Satan meets the devil; new this week at the buffet...

2008-11-06T21:04:00.002-05:00

This week the Kommandant is bedeviled by Jess Franco's attempt at the cannibal film, Devil Hunter.

While Bunny pledges to sit all the way through '70s Satan-sploitation flick Satan's Slave.

One hundred percent one percenters; new this week at the buffet...

2008-10-30T18:45:00.008-05:00

This week we return to our regularly scheduled program with a double dose of loud and rowdy bikers flicks.

First the Kommandant rides off into the sunset with a renegade band of cycle-gang gals who are leather on the outside, all woman on the inside, The Hellcats.

Then Bunny goes down under to infiltrate a group of bikers with vengeance in their hearts, violence on their minds and 150 horsepower of screaming steel between their legs, Stone.

PS: Yes, we made it back safe and sound from our weekend in the woods - thanks for asking! In truth our greatest moment of horror came when we realized the cabin featured an assortment of appropriate viewing options but was not equipped with a Beta player so we could have watched this.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled weekly update...

2008-10-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

...due to the fact we'll be spending the rest of this week in a cabin in the woods with no internet access; and I didn't have time to get this week's update done in advance. Sorry about that!

Anywhoo, if we've learned anything from this website, couples who spend time alone in a cabin in the woods often don't live to update their websites, or even drive back home, so tune in next week to see if we survive.

Fangs, foxes and flatulence; new this week at the buffet...

2008-10-16T14:23:00.003-05:00

This week the BMB offers up a veritable visual vicissitude of vampire vixens with a trio of truly trashy trash film.

First join Bunny as she digs up a double feature featuring twice the vamps and twice the bite, Cemetery Girls & Vampire Hookers.

Then join the Kommandant as he spends the night in a deserted hotel with the Daughters Of Darkness.

Funky fish and cursed coins; new this week at the buffet...

2008-10-09T15:10:00.002-05:00

This week the Kommandant jumps into the pool of post-Jaws films and encounters a Barracuda.

While Bunny sets sail for a rather non-furious adventure with late '80s "shocker," Island Fury.

Skunks and punks; new this week at the buffet...

2008-10-02T19:02:00.002-05:00

This week the BMB kicks off the month of Rocktober with a double dose of rock'n'roll related films.

First lace up your Doc Martens and head to the Bay Area with the Kommandant as he queues up and tries to get into 924 Gilman St: Let's Talk About Tact And Timing.

Then join Bunny and get on the bus for a ride with Ladies And Gentleman The Fabulous Stains.

Multiple maniacs; new this week at the buffet...

2008-09-25T17:42:00.004-05:00

This week Bunny gets Psychotronic(a) with a double dose of sleazy '70s sinema, Delinquent Schoolgirls / Dream No Evil.

While the Kommandant heads for the Decade That Dripped Blood to study up on forgotten slasher flick Final Exam.

Dagger Debs & pirate zombies; new this week at the buffet...

2008-09-18T12:05:00.003-05:00

This week Bunny spends the night in a place where trouble comes in high heels, the Smut Shack, with The Bad Luck Betties.

While the Kommandant heads for a remote desert island to attempt surviving Survive This!

Transplants and miscreants; new this week at the buffet...

2008-09-11T12:55:00.002-05:00

This week Bunny colors the buffet blood red with obscure Eurotrash thriller Crimson.

While our own inglorious bastard the Kommandant enlists to partake in the shoot-'em-up glory of Inglorious Bastards.

Town crazies and crazies out on the town; new this week at the buffet...

2008-09-04T18:32:00.002-05:00

This week Bunny dares to be alone in the dark with obscure '80s horror flick Alone In The Dark.

While the Kommandant spends a freaky Wednesday night watching somewhat confused indie horror film Freaky Farley.

Yet more mystics, moonlight and mayhem*; new this week at the buffet...

2008-08-28T12:51:00.001-05:00

(*Sorry to repeat myself but, in retrospect, last week's title is particularly fitting for this week's menu items; perhaps even more fitting than it's previous use.)

This week the BMB travels from the foggy canals of Venice to the spooky shores of Bali for two otherwise unrelated slices of International sinema.

First, join Bunny as she takes a seat in the Trattoria Of Terror for a piping hot plate of Giallo, The Bloodstained Shadow.

Then join the Kommandant and be mystified by ultra kooky Asian cult horror flick, Mystics In Bali.

At the risk of repeating myself a second time in the same week - in other news, the Yahoo Group is still acting up. I don't think it ever sent last week's update email either. Ugh! I guess we'll give it another week or two & see what happens.

Mystics, moonlight and mayhem; new this week at the buffet...

2008-08-20T19:12:00.004-05:00

This week we've got a double dose of werewolfery sure to satisfy and confuse hungry B-Movie viewers.

First, Bunny is cursed and bedeviled by Paul Naschy's Curse Of The Devil.

Then the Kommandant tears apart early '80s werewolf-esque film, Wolfen.

In other news, the Yahoo Group is acting up again. I don't think it ever sent last week's update email. Hopefully it will work this week!

The BMB is back!

2008-08-14T12:40:00.003-05:00

This week the Buffet returns to our regularly scheduled regular schedule with a hearty, double helping of British horror icon Christopher Lee.

(Um, except only one of the films is of the horror genre. And, now that I think about it, said non-horror film may have been made in Germany, not England. You won't hold this against us though right? We're still a little rusty from vacation. Rest assured, both movies star Christopher Lee.)

Anywhoo, first join Bunny as she packs up her bandana and runs away to join Circus Of Fear.

Then join the Kommandant and head for the vaults of Hammer Horror to gamble on The Man Who Could Cheat Death.

Silence, symbolism and sapphic sex; new this week at the buffet...

2008-07-16T19:30:00.004-05:00

This week Bunny & the Kommandant tear into the jugular vein of five freaky, fetishy flicks by French filmmaker Jean Rollin in our newest feature, Lips Of Blood, Grapes Of Death.

(PS: As you may have guessed from the artwork at the right of this post, this piece was originally published in issue #31 of carbon 14, our humble journal of art, film, music, smut and wrestling; due back from the printer whenever it is done being printed.)

And on that note we are out of here! We will return from summer vacation on or around August 13th; refreshed, revived and ready to review all of the DVDs in our collective review pile. See you then!

Kill and be killed; new this week at the buffet...

2008-07-09T18:32:00.001-05:00

This week Stately Wayne Manor decides the fate of early '90s obscurity Kill Or Be Killed.

While the Kommandant shines a light on Paul Naschy's grammatically incorrect Werewolf Shadow.

And now the stinging starts; new this week at the buffet...

2008-07-02T19:51:00.005-05:00

This week it's time to bust out the bug spray for a double dose of deadly drive-in-appropriate Apian activity.

First prepare to be enveloped in cheesy British horror as Bunny gets stung by Amicus Films' The Deadly Bees.

Then watch in horror as the Kommandant gets swarmed by the deadly swarm of Irwin Allen's The Swarm.

Black magic vs. white magic; new this week at the buffet...

2008-06-25T15:57:00.002-05:00

This week our menu features a heaping helping of magic, mayhem and attempted magical mayhem '70s sinema style.

First join the Kommandant as he lives through the reincarnation of the Dracula myth courtesy The Reincarnation Of Isabel.

Then join Bunny and fall under the spell of the wacky white witchery of Simon, King Of The Witches.

Vapid virgins and vexing vampires; new this week at the buffet...

2008-06-18T18:20:00.004-05:00

This week we've got a variety of vampiric nonsense that surely has Bram Stoker spinning in his grave.

First Bunny sheds no tears over Jean Rollin's Requiem For A Vampire.

Then the Kommandant doesn't exactly fall in love with Jess Franco's Vampire Lovers Double Feature, Vampire Blues & Vampire Junction.

Spies, thighs and private eyes; new this week at the buffet...

2008-06-11T21:08:00.002-05:00

This week join the Kommandant & scrub up to do some exploratory surgery on Operation Pussycat.

Then join Bunny and spend the night with the un-official original man of mystery, Our Man Flint.

A whole Lado love; new this week at the buffet...

2008-06-04T21:21:00.004-05:00

This week Bunny spends a long night watching Aldo Lado's Short Night Of Glass Dolls.

While Giallo Biafra invites you into his Trattoria Of Terror for a curious slice of Giallo, Who Saw Her Die?

A cavalcade of cranial craziness; new this week at the buffet...

2008-05-28T19:07:00.002-05:00

This week the B-Movie Buffet wants, and needs, your skull... to watch this double feature of films that feature disembodied skulls.

With this sentiment in mind (ahem) join the Kommandant as he investigates a terrifying case of skull-duggery, The Four Skulls Of Jonathan Drake.

Then join Bunny as she measures the skull bumps of Amicus Films' The Skull.

Vixens and voodoo; new this week at the buffet...

2008-05-21T19:26:00.004-05:00

This week Bunny swims south of the border for a psychotronic double feature of The Mermaids Of Tiburon & Yambao - Cry Of The Bewitched.

While the Kommandant is possessed by Shirley MacLaine's Santaria-riffic possession flick, The Possession Of Joel Delaney.

Intergalactic freaks and barnyard shrieks; new this week at the buffet...

2008-05-14T21:18:00.002-05:00

This week the Kommandant jets off to the sexy '70s for an encounter with softcore sci-fi Star Wars parody, The Beast In Space.

Meanwhile, Bunny attempts to determine what, if anything, soothes the savage beasts of Paul Naschy's Human Beasts.

Happy bloody Mother's Day; new this week at the buffet...

2008-05-07T19:43:00.003-05:00

This week the BMB celebrates the impending Mother's Day holiday the only way we know how - by watching some trashy films!

First join Bunny as she heads for the Decade That Dripped Blood and pledges to try and understand Roberta Findlay's late '80s sorta slasher flick, Blood Sisters.

Then join the Kommandant and heads for his Corman Corner to wipe up after Shelley Winters' portrayal of Ma Barker in Bloody Mama.

Nudists, rapists, and hippie hating 'Nam vets; new this week at the buffet...

2008-04-30T18:47:00.004-05:00

This week we've got a double dose of double features, each featuring a little something to offend pretty much everyone.

The Kommandant arms himself for an explosive double feature of Booby Trap & The Takers.

While Bunny exposes the naked truth about Psychotronica Volume 2, Mondo Keyhole & The Raw Ones.

Essentially Edwige; new this week at the buffet...

2008-04-23T19:59:00.004-05:00

This week we've got a double dose of everyone's favorite Giallo film fox, the lovely Miss Edwige Fenech.

First up, the Kommandant keeps count of the freezer bags hanging around Mario Bava's 5 Dolls For An August Moon.

Then Bunny takes a seat in Giallo Biafra's Trattoria Of Terror to investigate The Case Of The Bloody Iris.

Drive me ape, you big gorilla; new this week at the buffet...

2008-04-16T21:41:00.006-05:00

This week the BMB goes completely bananas as we peel back the skin of yet two more entries into the monkey movie canon.

Join the Kommandant as he meets up with a most unfortunate pairing, Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla.

Then Bunny steps right up for a gander at the carniest, three-dimensioniest big ape movie of them all, Gorilla At Large.

Taste the blood of Draculas; new this week at the buffet...

2008-04-09T21:07:00.003-05:00

This week we've got a sampling of Spanish sinema spiced with the blood of the dead! Or, uh, something like that.

First join Bunny as she tells the tale of a somewhat different Dracula saga, Leon Klimovsky's The Dracula Saga.

Meanwhile the Kommandant goes on a hunt for the treasure of Dracula in Santo En El Tesoro De Dracula.

Gypsies, tramps and sleaze; new this week at the buffet...

2008-04-02T19:34:00.002-05:00

This week it's time for a double shot of Joe - Joe Sarno that is.

First we'll travel back in time to the swingin' seventies as The Kommandant learns what happens when one frustrated woman's innermost fantasies stop being polite and start getting really Freudian in Confessions Of A Young American Housewife.

Then it's off to the equally swingin' sixties, as depicted in the dark streets of Brooklyn, when Bunny takes a ride with a group of men and women caught in a vortex of vice and a whirlpool of lust, The Sex Cycle.

Giallo-A-Go-Go; new this week at the buffet...

2008-03-26T21:23:00.003-05:00

This week we've got reservations at the Trattoria Of Terror for a double dose of dastardly deeds.

For our first course, Bunny takes a crack at Dario Argento's giallo thriller Cat O'Nine Tails.

Ready for your entree? Join Giallo Biafra for a date with a particularly sleazy slice of Eurosleaze The Sister Of Ursula.

Night after nite; new this week at the buffet...

2008-03-21T19:24:00.004-05:00

This week we return from our vacation with a return to the fertile 1980s for a double dose of dubious ideas.

First Bunny returns to The Decade That Dripped Blood for a rather ridiculous slice of slasher film, Girls Nite Out.

Then the Kommandant gets blinded by the psycho-kinetic light of '80s horror obscurity One Dark Night.

Thin plots and thick accents; new this week at the buffet...

2008-03-05T21:38:00.002-05:00

This week we've got a double dose of the hard stuff - meaning stuff that some people find hard to sit through - featuring BMB fave John Carradine.

First join Bunny as she breaks out the deep woods off and attempts to fend off an amorous Big Foot.

Then join the Kommandant and succumb to the spell of one of sinemas most challenging Dracula movies, Vampire Hookers.

In other news, our regularly scheduled weekly update will be briefly interrupted next week, due to the fact that we'll be out of town and may or may not have internet access, but we'll be back on or around March 19th with a fresh, steaming plate of B-grade goodness.

Reviews from the vaults... of my hard drive, part 5

2008-02-29T13:50:00.005-05:00

Welcome to the fifth - and final - installment of stuff I reviewed a few years ago on another site; offered up in honor of the birth month of both the BMB site and this blog. (See here for the backstory on this.)

Thanks so much for playing along! And tune in February 2009 to see what kind of nonsense I come up with to celebrate our fourth birthday.

Snake People

(Eclectic DVD)

For those that maintain there could not possibly be a movie worse than Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter, Eclectic DVD unintentionally presents Exhibit A: Snake People; coincidentally, or not so coincidentally, one of the last movies Boris Karloff ever starred in. (I'm not saying his death is in any way related to the shame of being in this movie, but the facts are what they are.) I would like to think I went into watching this with an open mind, but what would be a more accurate statement is that I was hoping it would be good because I like the movie poster art and tag line (Voodoo rituals… on an island of evil!) and Karloff's in it. Even at the ripe old age of 33 I can be so naive. After watching the movie I can honestly say I still like the poster art and tag line and Karloff is definitely in this movie. (In fact he has two roles, he's the loving uncle of the movie's heroine and the male leader of the cult of snake worshippers.) Other than that Snake People's points of distinction are few and far between. Even the people responsible for writing the box cover copy were hard pressed to come up with good things to say about the film, or even any way to describe the plotline, offering only the following two sentences: "Boris Karloff's psycho-sexual '60s voodoo masterpiece co-directed by Jack Hill in an all new digital transfer. Tongolele's erotic snake-dance is not to be missed!!" Tongolele, she of the "erotic" snake dance, is the witchy female priestess yin to the evil Karloff character's yang. Not only does she boogie with reptiles, she can cause things to spontaneously combust by staring at them intently. (I know, how come there's no ring on her finger? She's obviously the most eligible black magic voodoo broad around for miles.) I probably could have stood to miss her dance but, truth be told, I am no connoisseur of snake dancing - erotic or otherwise. I did appreciate her overall kind of gothic Cleopatra look though. The pre-requisite Halloween costume-esque bikini top, belt with jangly stuff on it and those weird bracelets that go around the bicep offset her black liquid eyeliner and Lily Munster meets Lauren Ezersky shock of silver hair well. I think she could stand to ease up on the eyebrow tweezing but that's just me. She certainly did give the movie some zing, which it sorely needed. Sadly no amount of exotic gyrating could save this flick.

The Window

(Ghost Limb Films)

I got kind of an art school / European film type vibe from the brief description on the box ("Sights, sounds and other perpetrators haunt a New York City apartment dweller.") so I elected to write this review while watching it. Go for a more stream of consciousness kinda thing. Why? I don't know, I just thought it would make it more interesting… for me. Anywhoo, here we go. The setting: bleak. The dialogue: non-existent. The plot: I think they covered it in that box quote but since we're here I'll add a little detail. Man lives in apartment. Man hears noises in his apartment. Sawing, cats, the sounds of general unrest, that sort of thing. Man looks for noise. Finds nothing. Man closes window. Goes to bed. Noises persist. Then there is daylight. Noises are more pleasant. Typing this does seem to take my mind off how uninteresting the film is but my main thought right now is: seriously, I am not watching seventeen minutes and nine seconds of this. When I look back up, I see man has awakened. Man is hairy and in his underpants. His underpants are too small. I find them unpleasant. I type this to avoid watching it. Man hears something. I catch a glimpse of the man with some sort of bat like object in his hand; maybe it's a bat. I'm thinking he's gonna hit something with it… and I'm right. He hits a rat. The rat writhes. He covers the rat with a napkin or something and hits it again. Now he's throwing the rat out the window. I think I've seen enough.

The Orbitrons 2000

(Ghost Limb Films)

From the company that brought me the above film, The Window, which I didn't like too much, comes The Orbitrons 2000 - a film I liked a whole lot more. Judging by the box description again, ("From a world where women wear the pants…") I figured that would be the case. This, as the title implies, is more of a SCI-FI thing and, much to my delight, kind of a modern day Ed Wood movie in form, function and execution. Set in the gritty streets of Newark, New Jersey, the plot involves around a guy named Tom Kubosh. He just wants to be left alone to indulge himself in his favorite yearly ritual - masturbating in the cemetery where he first jerked off - but poor Tom's luck just ain't working that way. He gets hassled by the man on the way to the cemetery and, after getting his butt kicked by some donut & hooch loving pigs, it just gets worse. He witnesses a spaceship landing, sees zombies he knew from high school (presumably they were human back then) and uncovers a sinister plot about to be unhatched by evil space Goddess Starleatha. Will chaos rule the day? Will Earth survive? Will Tom live to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like riding his Harley and beating off in semi-public places? Brave B-movie fans that dare to track this down will just have to find out for themselves. Other points of note: this flick had a cool soundtrack by a bunch of bands I've never heard of, an unusual amount of exposed male genitalia in a non-porn film (an unusual amount being any; it was really just one penis being bared a few times - the Kommandant thinks it may have been a stunt cock but hey, stunt cock is still a lot more cock than you'll see in any major motion picture which is why I'm mentioning it) and the clothing was provided by Agatha Blois, who is also involved in a clothing line called Submission Inc., co-owned by my friend and neighbor Kim Montenegro.

Alternative fuels and Satanic fools; new this week at the buffet...

2008-02-27T21:42:00.003-05:00

This week The Kommandant buckles up for a ride with indie horror-comedy Blood Car.

While Bunny returns to the vaults of Hammer horror to get a taste of Taste The Blood Of Dracula.

Reviews from the vaults... of my hard drive, part 4

2008-02-22T12:49:00.003-05:00

I don't know what the weather is like where you live today but here on the East Coast it is an icy, snowy mess. Or at least it is outside, where the Kommandant is currently salting our walk-way. I'm blogging from our bedroom at the moment so it's actually rather warm and cozy where I am.

Anywhoo, this weather seems like as good an excuse as any to stay in and watch movies that were made many, many years ago; or to waste some time surfing the internet and reading movie reviews that were written many years ago. With that in mind...

Welcome to the fourth installment of stuff I reviewed a few years ago on another site. (See here for the backstory on this.) This week's selection features no budget garage girls a go-go; a slice of late '80s slasher trash; and a film that would have fit right in with this week's Buffet menu selection. (Anything would have been a better choice than Velvet Smooth!)

Tune in next Friday for the fifth - and final - batch from the vaults; of my hard drive. Enjoy!

It's A Haunted Happenin'

(Amusement Films)

This is the newest offering from Amusement Films, a company that specializes in "no budget" flicks that this reviewer finds undeniably charming. The story here revolves around the Soultanglers, a trio of urban rocker chicks, and their quest to win the coveted first prize at the Ghouls A-Go-Go Battle Of The Bands - which just so happens to be an all female competition. (I can't believe Rodney Bingenheimer didn't hit on that idea first, and in real life!) The girls especially have their hearts set on beating out rival band the Darlings, who seem to think they've got the whole thing in the bag with their sugary sweet sound. If the Soultanglers have anything to say about it though, chops and knowledge of musical history will reign supreme over cuteness and knowledge of how to properly accessorize a '60s go-go outfit and the ladies will end their excursion riding off into the sunset with some sort of prize. (I think the prize is that they get to perform on the Ghoul A-Go-Go TV show.) Of course, as with any decent ascent to fame, there are a few twists and turns blocking their seemingly straight path to success. Like the fact that all of the girls have to spend the night in the contest-provided accommodations - i.e. a dark and spooky mansion. Realistically, even someone with a less than vivid imagination could probably think of a few dirty (or at least naughty) roads that such a plotline could take but don't go reaching for the hand lotion just yet. (Maybe after the movie when you're alone with your own thoughts.) Neither the Darlings nor the Soultanglers are that kind of girl group, and this isn't that kind of movie. Despite the fact that it would take less than ten minutes to turn the plot into one featuring a ton of lesbian sex, Haunted Happenin' is a bit more wholesome than most movies I've been sent for review. Not in the sense that it's made for children though, there are too many references that only people over a certain age (like voting age plus a decade) would get for it to be exclusively aimed at a younger audience. I'd liken more to an all ages Dickies show - it could entertain the whole family depending on who your family is.

Slaughterhouse

(Program Power)

When I looked at this box cover, I was mentally transported back to the late '80s - AKA when I was in high school. Journey back in time with me for a moment, won't you? It's only for review purposes. Right now it's Thanksgiving eve 2003. Back in, say, 1987, what would I have been doing on Thanksgiving eve? If you said hanging out at a partially demolished abandoned mental hospital with my degenerate friends, consuming drugs or alcohol (or possibly if the mood was right and supplies were plentiful, drugs and alcohol) and listening to Slayer, you are correct. Thanksgiving did mark the start of something traditional for me & my friends though. While hanging out at a partially demolished, abandoned mental hospital can be a lot of fun in the spring and summer, and even into the fall, by December even the most die hard had to admit it was way too cold to spend an entire night standing around outside getting fucked up. So, what would a group of teenagers and "young adults" like us then set out to do on a cold winter weekend night? Pretty much the same thing we did at Byberry the rest of the year except we were at someone's house (basically any house where parents or other responsible adults were not plentiful) and we'd maybe add some kind of other entertainment - say a drinking game or movie - to the mix. And of course no other kind of movie existed to the male population of said group than the horror movie. (Maybe porn, but they generally did not watch that when the girls were around.) This was exactly the kind of movie that would win the vote at the video store, and in fact, I have already seen it, despite my desire not to. (I don't eat meat and the movie is about an old psycho pig farmer father and his grossly overweight, even more psycho, son who run a slaughterhouse. See, it's almost impossible for the two parties to have a shared interest.) Nonetheless, this may in fact be considered a classic to those guys I hung out with - most of whom are now men and I'd imagine own their own homes and have DVD players and would probably very much enjoy an evening of kicking back with some friends, possibly still with the drugs, alcohol, etc., and this movie. I on the other hand, just like then, tried to keep myself otherwise entertained until it was over.

Mean Mother

(Retro Shock-O-Rama)

I was a latecomer to the whole DVD thing; because I just didn't see the need for yet another piece of electronic equipment in the house, nor the things that go with it. Besides, the VCR still works just fine. Had I not started writing movie reviews for this site I may have held out even longer but I had to admit watching DVDs for review on my computer was a total drag, so I didn't say anything when my husband finally got sick of my procrastination on the subject and went and bought one on his own. Since then I have learned there is definitely an upside to the rise in popularity of the DVD format. For one thing, while the amount of older and more obscure films available on video is decreasing to make room for the newer technology, it would seem that DVD makers have embraced the old and obscure, resulting in a tidal wave of releases of films that have not been seen anywhere, really, in many a decade. Mean Mother, which has the distinction of being the first blaxploitation film I've ever been called upon to review for CFBC, is one of those films. Originally released in 1973, it follows the story of Beau, played by Clifton Brown. (According to the accompanying booklet, he was also know by the name Dobie Gray and enjoyed a career as a popular recording artist with two top twenty hits between '65 and '73.) Beau's a relatively laid back dude; your typical soldier AWOL from the war in 'Nam. He just wants to be left alone to smuggle enough illegal goods to have enough money to live happily ever after in Canada with his hot girlfriend but as we all know - life just ain't that simple. The man is never far behind and always has one eye out for someone, or something, to hassle. (If films prove to be mirrors of society, this was especially true in the '70s.) Mean Mother isn't that unique in the sense that there were a lot of films like this made around this time. Some of them went on to be famous / infamous films that people still talk about and reference today, like Shaft, Superfly, Hammer, etc.; some of them just kind of disappeared into the woodwork. Nonetheless, if you really want to get an education in exploitation, these lesser known titles are indispensable. For that reason, and because Al Adamson is just so f-in' kooky, I'll give this movie a thumbs up.

Afros, macks and masked maniacs; new this week at the buffet...

2008-02-20T20:18:00.004-05:00

Bunny & The Kommandant salute Black History Month with a quadruple dose of Bad Brothas & Mean Muthas featuring Blaxploitation non-classics Mean Johnny Barrows, Final Comedown, Lady Cocoa & Velvet Smooth.

Reviews from the vaults... of my hard drive, part 3

2008-02-15T16:59:00.004-05:00

Welcome to the third installment of stuff I reviewed a few years ago on another site. (See here for the backstory on this. And if you're getting bored don't worry - there's only two more installments left.)

This week's selection features a laughable attempt at blending two genres that never needed to mixed in the first place; a slightly depressing documentary about a porn star who really need to find another line of work; and bloodsucking pharaohs. In Pittsburgh no less!

Tune in next Friday for yet another batch from the vaults; of my hard drive. Enjoy!

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

(Elite Entertainment)

Getting a review package from our lovely editor is always fun. You never know what's gonna be in there. I usually pause before I open the envelope to wonder what kind of cinematic offering, or offerings, it may hold. (Will it be a documentary about porn star or a weird Japanese "porno" that has no actual sex scenes? A gory zombie flick or a lesbian mummy movie? Yes, those examples are based on my actual CFBC reviewing experience.) It's always a crapshoot, and in the case of this particular movie some might say crap is the operative word, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I definitely laughed out loud when I opened this month's package and saw a copy of this DVD in my review pile because, not only have I already seen this exceptionally "special" (that's the polite word for something born with some sort of defect yes?) movie, we have it on video. As part of his quest to see every B-movie ever made, my husband bought a copy somewhere and we watched it one warm weekend night last summer. We thought it was hilarious (I will point out that we were a bit drunk when we watched it, although that really has no bearing on our tastes in cinema) and later lent it to a friend of ours who also has a taste for cinema that falls beneath the radar of the major movie houses. He reported back that he thought it was the single worst movie ever made, which prompted my husband to make the assessment that it's impossible there has never been a movie made that's worse than this. (An undeniably backhanded compliment if ever there was one.) They both have a point but I'm really no barometer to judge movies by. I offer this example to illustrate my point: I probably didn't have to watch this again in order to review it but, nonetheless, watch it again I did. I have to say I think I enjoyed it more the first time but still… the WORST movie ever made? I have to side with my man and say there must be worse movies out there… somewhere. Movie standards are totally subjective though. As for the film itself, I feel like you're all savvy enough to imagine the general plotline. Even if you're not, what you imagine it to be might end up being more logical than the movie's actual plot. Suffice it to say, the title rings true enough and during the course of the film, a character named Jesse James meets another character who is supposed to be Frankenstein's daughter. Actually that's not quite accurate, the evil doctor lady isn't Frankenstein's daughter, she's Frankenstein's grand-daughter - she says so herself in the first ten minutes - but who are we to dwell on such minutia? Besides, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Grand-Daughter just doesn't have that Hollywood feel so I think we can all understand why the powers that be decided to shave off that small five letter, one generation, detail for the sake of the greater good. Whether or not you wish to investigate this film any further is completely up to you.

Girl Next Door

(Indican)

In case you've never heard of Stacy Valentine, the subject of this documentary, she is an adult film actress; apparently famous enough in the industry to be dubbed a porn star. I occasionally review adult films and I have to admit I've never heard of her. But she does have a contract with VCA, and they are a major company, so I'll assume for the sake of the review that she is in fact a porn star, and not just a girl making porn movies. (Yes, there is a difference.) I can't figure out whether or not I've seen her on Howard Stern's E! show, which would be the clincher. But let's get back to the film. I am not familiar with the director either but as far as actual film making goes, Christine Fugate is clearly very skilled in the documentary format. The way it's edited is clean and linear, so it really does feel like you're getting a realistic snapshot of Stacy's life during the time she was filmed. Fugate also captures a number of moments where Stacy is really naked, if you'll pardon the expression, and in the type of film where there's one living, breathing subject as the focus, those are always the most telling moments. I like a good documentary myself but, in reality, a documentary is only as interesting as it's subject. Which is not to say Stacy Baker / Valentine does not have an interesting story (to an extent everyone has an interesting story) but it was hard to watch this. Particularly it's hard to watch this and not come away feeling like you wanted to call her up and say "Listen honey, this is not the life for you! Quit, get more therapy, go to school and learn a trade. Leave porn forever and don't look back! You'll be so much happier." It's not so much that I felt sorry for her, because she's clearly a grown-up who has chosen this career with eyes wide open, it's just kind of sad and painful to watch someone who seems fundamentally unhappy with herself kind of swimming against the current, trying to gain acceptance by doing something that is hard for most people to accept. So in that sense the film is kind of icky. Speaking of icky-ness, in addition to viewing the more normal events of Stacy's daily life (going to work, the trials and tribulations of dating in the industry, dealing with family & friends, etc.) the viewer gets "treated" to seeing some of the numerous trips to the plastic surgeon Ms. Valentine has made. (During the film we see her getting liposuction, a breast implant re-do and getting fat that I believe they sucked out of her ass injected into her lips.) I have to say those parts were fucking disgusting. Jesus! I had to close my eyes. Let me state now and for the record - if this is what it takes to be considered beautiful, I'd rather be ugly. I'd also like to point out that the otherwise lame soundtrack was bolstered by some tunes from one of my personal favorite chanteuses, Caynde Kane. (Who, coincidentally, has also spent some time in the industry. Now there's a documentary subject for Christine Fugate.) If you want a peek at the life of a porn starlet, Girl Next Door does deliver, but after seeing it I can't imagine myself ever enjoying one of Stacy Valentine's "other" movies. On the part of the director, I'd say the film is a success but maybe not for the subject. Although if the release of the documentary made her re-think her situation, I'd say it's the best movie she's ever made.

Bloodsucking Pharaohs In Pittsburgh

(Program Power)

Obviously a movie with a title like Bloodsucking Pharaohs In Pittsburgh is not going to be standard Hollywood fare; the word "bloodsucking" alone cries out B-movie, but when you pair the word "bloodsucking" with "pharaohs" - forget it. This B-movie has it's own special twist, as any movie that expects me to watch it all the way through should. It's a parody of a bunch of different genres all at once; the buddy cop flick… the '80s slasher flick (complete with Tom Savini on board supplying "special make-up effects," natch)... the black comedy… and so forth. It's a cult movie, and a cult movie parody. Is that high concept meets low budget or what? Not as memorable as, say, that John Holmes flick where he's a pimp who runs his cathouse under the guise of a pizza delivery service and all the girls wear hot pants and rollerskates to "deliver the goods to the customer". But, you know, what is? I've seen better movies than Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh but, honestly, I've seen a lot worse too. Despite it's obvious awkwardness and, um, challenging plotline, it had some funny shit in it and I did not feel the urge to reach for the remote every few minutes. If you want to rate a movie like this (badfilm, as I've recently heard it called; I'll also accept the term psychotronic) by it's kooky-ness, this movie is off the charts. It's a fucking thousand shades of kooky, and each one is colored with the blood of the undead.

Blood bays and mean machines; new this week at the buffet...

2008-02-13T21:51:00.003-05:00

This week we set the wayback machine for the sleazy '70s for a double dose of video nasty.

First Giallo Biafra invites you to take a seat in the Trattoria Of Terror and dip your toes in Mario Bava's Bay Of Blood.

Then join Bunny as she buckles up for a ride with an obscure slice of Eurosleaze, Ricco The Mean Machine.

Reviews from the vaults... of my hard drive, part 2

2008-02-08T12:00:00.001-05:00

Welcome to our second installment of stuff I reviewed a few years ago on another site. (See here for the backstory on this.)

One thing I really liked about writing for CFBC was, much like c14, Stacey never assigned a specific theme to her zine. Therefore, people sent all sorts of assorted crap there for review. (And, of course, I use the term crap with respect.)

In turn, she would send me all sorts of assorted crap to review - obscure old foreign films; recently filmed low budget indie flicks; documentaries; music videos... I never knew what might lie in the bubbly confines of my bubble mailer on any given month. Which was always fun. Even when the stuff contained in said package didn't seem like it would be particularly fun to watch.

This week's selection is a good example of this. Here we have an obscure piece of Eurotrash, an American made "no budget" indie flick and another in a long line of zombie movies made by people who spent way too much time watching George Romero movies.

Tune in next Friday for yet another batch from the vaults; of my hard drive. Enjoy!

Eerie Midnight Horror Show

(Sinema Diable / Eclectic DVD)

Eerie Midnight Horror Show is the second movie I've received for review on the Sinema Diable imprint. (I think they're exclusively distributed by Eclectic DVD, thus the reason Eclectic gets to have their name and address as the contact.) Rumor has it that SD is owned by Glen Danzig, AKA the one time frontman for Danzig, Samhain and the Misfits (make that the original Misfits, not that half assed crew that's touring and recording under that name today); AKA he who is short in sense of humor and stature but tall in bicep muscles, sideburns and attitude. Seems believable enough to me. I mean, if his former band's lyrics, song titles, imagery, etc. are any indication, he's spent a lot of time watching movies. Further, one can only assume that somebody with a real interest in a specific movie genre - say, horror movies - would start to seek out older, obscure, low budget or foreign films to feed their need when they've tired of Hollywood's offerings. Sinema Diable seems to specialize in old, obscure, low budget, foreign horror films so when you rhetorically ask 'who would be aware of a movie like this, let alone love it enough to be inspired to bring it to a larger audience?' and the answer is 'the ex-lead singer of horror punk band the Misfits,' it does make sense. If only the rumor he's in talks to play Wolverine in a big budget action movie was as likely to be true… that would have been so great. Anywhoo, deciding whether or not the world is a better place now that this movie is readily available is not my job. My job is to watch the movie and describe it to you, the loyal reader. I will do my best. Eerie Midnight Horror Show is a movie known by many names, or at least two other names, The Sexorcist and Tormented. Basically it's the story of an innocent young lady who, through no fault of her own of course, becomes possessed by an evil spirit that makes her do a whole bunch of fucked up shit until eventually a priest comes to her rescue and exorcises the pesky demon. Kinda like that other movie about an innocent young lady being possessed by an evil spirit you might be familiar with. In this film however, instead of the heroine being a decidedly un-sexy (no offense to Linda Blair) pre-adolescent, our heroine is a sexy twenty-ish Italian babe and you get to watch her prance around in a sheer flowery mini dress and rounded toe black leather t-strap heels. (Which are so completely back in style!) I didn't hear her say anything about anyone's mother sucking cocks anywhere, maybe it was lost in the Italian-to-English translation, nor did her head spin round and round but she did masturbate while licking the front door of her apartment (?) and much like every other exorcism / possession movie, she vomits a bunch and foams at the mouth and stuff. Then, after an hour and fifteen minutes or so of that the holy guy steps in. He takes some verbal abuse, says some mumbo jumbo and poof - no more demon. Good always prevails over evil, you see. Even in bad movies.

The Girls From H.A.R.M.

(Amusement Films)

Before even getting to the main feature I learned from the pre-movie trailer that the team behind this film also made a movie I've heard a lot of great things about (but haven't gotten to see yet), El Frenetico & Go Girl; so straight away I was looking forward to viewing The Girls From H.A.R.M. Plus, based on my interpretation of what is good cinema, any movie with shillouettes of crime-fightin' babes as part of their package design has got to be good. (Except perhaps that Charlie's Angels movie with Drew Barrymore.) And I was not disappointed. I'm not gonna re-count the plotline, cause I think if everyone out there reading this went and saw this movie, the world would be a better place. (Albeit slightly, it is just a movie after all.) Suffice it to say, you can expect lots o' good old kung fu action from cute girls in tight outfits plus, of course, the prerequisite twists and turns that come with a story about a gang of renegade, evil-stomping bad / good girls. (Note: these bad girls are actually quite innocent, even while kicking ass - this flick contains no nudity, no profanity, only the slightest bit of blood and the tiniest bit of sexual innuendo. Nonetheless, I imagine that at least half the men who have watched this movie got wood from one of the girls from H.A.R.M. Pornography is in the eye of the beholder, you know.) I prefer a low budget movie - Amusement Films likes to call it a "no budget" movie - to a major motion picture and I must say I enjoyed this particular low budget movie quite a bit. Even if you don't like low budget movies you might like this one though. Really. Would I steer you wrong? OK maybe I would, but I'm not now. This also deserves bonus points for a killer theme song and, although I'm guessing it was not intended to be this way, I loved the fact that one of the evil do-ers (Mr. Wahl, the head of Wahl Industries) was totally dressed like the guys in Mooney Suzuki. (You know: black suit, black shirt, slightly sloppy bowl haircut—everything except an instrument.) But I digress. It honestly warms my heart to think that somewhere out there in the world, as I type this, there are people making (or least planning) grade-A B-movies. I applaud them for it.

Biohazardous

(Moodude Films/Eclectic DVD)

When I opened my review package for this month, I got a glimpse of the title before I pulled everything out so for a second I thought maybe this was a DVD related to the band Biohazard; who are, by all accounts, nice fellas but maybe not my favorite band to listen to. Upon closer inspection it became clear that was in fact a movie, a low budget horror movie at that; which, I'm sure, is also made by nice people, but maybe not my favorite kind to watch. Nonetheless, watch it I did. All 93 or so seemingly endless minutes. There's nothing wrong with Biohazardous per se, it's just not my kind of zombie movie. I like campy zombie movies that don't take themselves too seriously. Or zombie movies that are old. I appreciate the existence of Night Of The Living Dead trilogy as much as the next guy, but not if we're talking about the guys that made this. The problem is, they don't so much appreciate it throughout Biohazardous, as they do make a lot of vague and not so vague references to the films over and over until it's, um, over. The plot, while quite detailed, was pretty transparent; featuring all the stereotypical signposts you'd expect: the gated building where mysterious shit happens, the middle aged security guard who just wants to mind his own business in an effort to feed his family, the bored teenagers looking for kicks, and the nosy cops with nothing better to do than investigate the goings on of all of the above. (Gratuitous T & A was curiously absent however. Teenage sex is usually a given in any horror movie but these poor teenagers barely had time to get messed up, let alone get laid, before getting devoured by the undead.) At any rate, even though I wasn't crazy about it, I know there is an audience out there that would appreciate this special effect laden, bloody & gory, B-grade horror flick. I'm just not a member of it.

Flesh merchants, crazy carnys and headless horsemen; new this week at the buffet...

2008-02-06T21:34:00.001-05:00

This week join the Kommandant and hit the midway for a hapless hippy-ish double feature of Carnival Of Blood & Curse Of The Headless Horseman.

Then join Bunny and pull back the covers for a lingering, lascivious look at Skin In The Fifties.

Happy birthday to us!

2008-02-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

As you may have guessed from the title of today's post, February 1st marks the anniversary of the day I launched the B-Movie Buffet into cyberspace. Therefore, if this day is to be viewed as the website's birthday, we are three years old today. Hooray for us! (Technically the BMB as an entity has a few birthdays; interested parties can read more on that topic here.)

Speaking of which, I probably should have had the forethought to save the Kommandant's review of Happy Birthday To Me for the occasion but I did not.

Anywhoo, as mentioned in that post mentioned in the earlier aside, the B-Movie Buffet started out as a column on a now defunct website, CrimsonAndCherry.com, before moving into the pages of c14 & relaunching to cyberspace. But what really inspired me to start writing about movies was my tenure at Candy For Bad Children. (Another defunct website.)

CFBC editor Miss Stacey Dawn & I met via her husband, the man known to the world wide web world as Sleazegrinder. (Who I met via our respective columns in Hit List, yet another now defunct publication.) When she first approached me about writing for her site she asked if I'd do some music reviews but, at the time, I was feeling burned out on writing CD reviews from c14 (and, actually, I still feel that way; but let's not get off topic) so instead I volunteered to review some movies. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Well, OK, it's not really important enough to be considered historical but I think, between this post and the previous ones on the subject, I've already covered the rest of the story.

Seeing as how the CFBC archive has disappeared from cyberspace, I've decided to post a sampling of the stuff I wrote for her in honor of the part the site played in the Buffet's existence and, of course, our birthday.

Tune in next Friday for another batch from the vaults; of my hard drive. Enjoy!

The Double-D Avenger

(Elite Entertainment)

I first heard about this movie when it was reviewed by the ever knowledgeable Dan "Dante" Taylor of Exploitation Retrospect fame in my humble publication, carbon 14; since then it's gained the official Joe Bob Briggs seal of approval, which means... well, I'm not sure what that means. Except now the man behind the Double-D Avenger, William Winckler, gets to see his film re-released on DVD with generally inane and annoying commentary from some faux redneck dude with a bolo tie as a "bonus." (Whatever; I'd imagine whoever WW is, he was more than thrilled when these ladies returned his calls - let alone agreed to appear in his film - so anything on top of that is icing and the rest of us can just ignore or appreciate the JBB part based on their own prejudices. I guess mine are fairly clear so we'll move on.) Obviously based on the title and the film's stars - for the benefit of those who don't know who Kitten Natividad, Haji and / or Raven De La Croix are, all three women have starred in classic Russ Meyer films and, subsequently, many a young man's fantasy - you know this isn't exactly Shakespeare. Unlike Up, which featured two of the three. (Kitten and Raven.) That wasn't Shakespeare either, but was structurally similar to Shakespeare. You know, with the Greek chorus and all. Nonetheless, given a choice between good ol' fashioned T&A and plays by some dead English dude, who wouldn't choose the former? I would and I love plays by dead English dudes! This doesn't exactly revisit the glory days of those classic breast-centric films but expecting it to do so is just expecting too much. It might also be a little too much to expect fans of RM's films to get equally excited about the prospect of seeing Kitten, Haji & Raven naked now that all three have a little more, um, life experience to their credit but thankfully everybody keeps their clothing, and thus their dignity, in check. Although the viewer does get to see the ever bubbly Kitten fellate a plastic banana (it's a long story and I wouldn't want to spoil the plot for you) which, dare I say it, might just do the trick for some of the males in the audience. If you're not looking to this film to give you a boner, just some mindless entertainment - and you like nudity free, bad joke heavy superhero spoofs - then step right on up to the Double-D Avenger. I don't really like those things but even I can't hate on this. Plus, I love Haji! (Cost of the DVD - well, for me it was free but you know where I'm going with this. Hearing her spit out witty repartee like "weef bin denzin ur phennties uff buss" for an hour - priceless.) The film's existence is proof positive of the American dream and it's general right to be is not to be denied. Not by me anyway.

Superstarlet AD

(Guerrilla Monster)

This time around the videos I got from the lovely Miss Dawn came courtesy her main squeeze, Sleazegrinder. There was no press kit or even a box cover with the videos though; so I went over to his site to see what I was in for. It was there that I saw him refer to Supestarlet AD as "the Ben Hur of lowbrow cinema." My curiosity was suitably peaked. (Even though I've never seen Ben Hur.) Could the film really live up to such a high expectation? There's only one way to find out. Five minutes into the film I had to admit, I really couldn't figure out what was going on. Ten minutes into the film I realized it really didn't matter. Films like this one are a rare and special breed and to some extent cannot be judged by the same standards used to judge other films. (I tend to call them "Something Weird" films, only because I have seen so many films similar in style to this that are distributed by the fine company of the same name; but I guess it could be categorized in a number of terms: psychotronic, exploitation, etc.) You cannot look at this movie and say, "You know, the lighting is poor. And sometimes I can't hear the girls talking very well." I mean you could say those things, but you'd just look like a dumb bastard. The movie was made for under 20 grand! We're lucky they even had so many prop guns and crap to throw around. They sure did have a lot of cool lingerie in this flick though. And enough false eyelashes, black liquid eyeliner and lipstick for at least two drag nights at Bob & Barbara's. (Excuse the Philly reference, insert name of your local bar that hosts your city's finest drag show instead.) So I guess between that & the cost of film we know where the budget went. I'd hate to re-tell the whole plot but I'll give you a teaser: the movie takes place in the future, in a place called Femphis, where all men are extinct. (Yep, even gay ones; which is apparently why there is no clothing—only lingerie—in the future. Levi Strauss was gay? No shit!) Only women, and the occasional caveman, have survived in this post-apocalyptic world and, in order to stay alive, they've banded together while segregating themselves by hair color into "Beauty Cults". The brunettes dubbed the Satanas, the redheads the Tempests and the nearly extinct blondes, the Phayrays. (Perhaps some kind of societal commentary or maybe just a reflection of the director's personal taste in women?) Ah, but not all is so black and white; or blond, brunette and red-headed. There are a few girls who want to intermix and mingle with sisters of varied hair color. Two of them, brunette cutie pie Naomi & her blond, strangely accented gal pal Rachel make up the Superstarlets. Of course to really be diverse, they need a redhead; which is just what they set out to accomplish—and you know what comes next. Wacky hi-jinx! Duh. Oh yeah, and they're also on a mission to view their grandmother's respective ancestral stag films. Do you even need any more encouragement to see this movie? I should think not.

Sex Friend Nurezakari

(Screen Edge)

Nothing says "what the fuck" like Asian cinema, am I right? A friend was over here the other day & posed the following question while checking out the box cover: "So... is this like... porn or what?" I hadn't watched it at the time so I said I didn't know. Having seen it, I'm still not sure. Compared to the American version of adult cinema, which heavily features people's genitals and "money shots", probably not. There are two quotes on the box cover; one states that the film is "a journey of enlightenment where it isn't just the road that's long and hard." I didn't see anything long or hard - unless they're referring to the plotline, which is long, and the subtitles, which are hard to read. (Note to whoever subtitles movies: white type is very hard to read when run over white or light colored background.) The other quote boasts that the film is "Bizarre, fascinating and kinky." I can really only agree to the first one, although I suppose by someone else's standards this could be considered kinky. Overall I found it kind of dull. It took a long time for the plot to move along and even when it did, it still didn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. Apparently this flick is representative of a semi-obscure film genre known as Pink Cinema (basically an Asian version of sexploitation movies) but unlike, say, your Russ Meyer type sexploitation movie that has a lot of action - not necessarily meaning XXX action but just stuff happening in general - this one has a whole weird extended story involving a dead childhood friend, baseball and a lot of silence. Aside from that there are a couple scenes where people appear to be having sex but again, there's nothing that graphic just some naked boobs and the occasional shot of a guys butt. Weird? Yes. Fascinating? Sorry, but no.

(Less than) six degrees of Luciana Paluzzi; new this week at the buffet...

2008-01-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today's title refers to one of the actresses in this week's second menu item; in Tragic Ceremony Luciana Paluzzi plays Lady Alexander, a Satanic Majesty with a request for eternal life. A role that affords her about five to ten minutes at the beginning of the movie and about five minutes at the end.

Her degrees of separation from our first menu item is that our copy of Attack Of The Crab Monsters is part of a triple feature we taped off of TCM featuring the aforementioned Corman classic along with The Killer Shrews and The Green Slime. The latter is a kooky, kitschy Sci-Fi film starring - yep, you guessed it, Luciana Paluzzi. Only in this one she plays a doctor and has much more screentime.

Also of note while we're on the subject: The Green Slime's title track is awesome and has been covered by at least one band that I know of, The Fuzztones. Although their version is more atmospheric and a lot less rockin' than the original.

Anywhoo, now back to our menu...

First join the Kommandant as he returns to his Corman Corner to get pinched by the claws of Attack Of The Crab Monsters.

Then join Bunny and accept an invitation to a somewhat tragic, somewhat Satanic, tragic ceremony, Tragic Ceremony.

Boobs, blood and bad acting; new this week at the buffet...

2008-01-23T20:38:00.001-05:00

This week we check our collective brains at the door for a truly mind boggling double feature of scandalously non-scary slasher flick parodies. (One actually from the '80s and one that just wishes it was.)

First up dive into the deep end (and contemplate not coming back up) of a Bikini Bloodbath.

Then settle into a sticky booth and attempt to enjoy a blood buffet at the somewhat infamous Blood Diner.

Sadists and sexperts; new this week at the buffet...

2008-01-16T20:30:00.000-05:00

This week we set the wayback machine for Spain circa the sexy '70s as Bunny turns the pages on one of Jess Franco's many Marquis De Sade inspired films, Eugenie De Sade.

While the Kommandant heads for The Big Apple circa the sleazy '60s to get touched by the temptation of the kind of life many dream about... but don't dare live... The Sexperts.

The Man In The Shadows

2008-01-15T18:27:00.001-05:00

Last night the Kommandant and I caught the premiere of Val Lewton: The Man In The Shadows on TCM, the Martin Scorsese produced documentary about Val Lewton. (Although I guess that part is redundant as the subject's name is in the title.)

For those who aren't familiar with Lewton, he was a Russian immigrant who began his career in Hollywood as an assistant to producer David O. Selznick, working on "normal" productions like A Tale Of Two Cities and Gone With The Wind. Later he was hired by RKO where he helmed a number of low budget horror movies, not as a director but a producer, that essentially went on to become his legacy; films like Cat People, Isle Of The Dead and I Walked With A Zombie. Incidentally, the latter is also the name of one of my favorite Roky Erickson songs. (I think I actually read somewhere that the song was inspired by the movie. But don't quote me on that.)

Anywhoo, although I had heard of him prior to seeing this, I have to admit seeing the re-worked version of Cat People (starring Nastassja Kinski) as an impressionable teenager is the closest I've ever come to watching one of the films he was directly involved with. This very engaging documentary has convinced me I need to change that. (In other words, you can expect at least one Val Lewton themed menu in the upcoming weeks.)

In typical TCM fashion, I could not figure out when - if ever - they plan on showing this again but if they do, I highly recommend it.

Bloodsuckers, devil dolls and seductive slashers; new this week at the buffet...

2008-01-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

First join the Kommandant and head for Morella's graveyard theater for an all-night terror-rama featuring Grave Of The Vampire & House Of Evil.

Then join Bunny and get caught up in the sexy, bloody, death grip of Amando De Ossorio's The Loreley's Grasp.

PS: We now return you to our regularly scheduled weekly updates. See you next week!

The B-Movie Buffet is on vacation*!

2007-12-24T12:54:00.000-05:00

(*Mentally at least.)

We will return to our regularly scheduled schedule of regular weekly updates the first week of January.

Hope you all have a festive holiday season!
xoxo,
bunny

Slasher flicks a-go-go; new this week at the buffet...

2007-12-19T20:01:00.000-05:00

This week Bunny grabs her sleeping bag and heads for the Smut Shack to spend the night with Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre.

While The Kommandant returns to The Decade That Dripped Blood for a confusing slice of slasher film, Happy Birthday To Me.

By the way, in case you were wondering why it's been so long between additions to the Smut Shack menu, it was due to the sad-but-true fact I totally forgot I even started a porn review column on the site. (Sad, but true.)

I blame this on the fact that, although I used to contribute adult movie reviews to a few different on-line publications that no longer exist, these days I only review porn for c14. And thus I only think about reviewing porn about twice a year. I was doing some year-end maintenance on the site the other day though, saw the Smut Shack folder and realized it was time I added something to it.

I also found a pile of currently unreviewed VividAlt and Burning Angel DVDs in my office so hopefully I'll remember to update this section more often in the future. (And, depending on how you feel about the porn column, this will either be a good or a bad thing.)

While we're on the subject of side notes, although most of the stuff we review comes to us via the mail, or those seemingly bottomless boxes of VHS tapes the husband has stashed in the basement, today's Decade That Dripped Blood entry comes to us by way of us stumbling across this film on On Demand in the wee hours of this past Saturday night.

I'd never actually seen the movie before but definitely remember being kind of freaked out by the promotional campaign when it originally came out - particularly the shish-kebob scenario as depicted in the movie poster above. (Also courtesy the personal collection of the Kommandant.) To put things into perspective and age myself at the same time though, I was ten years old when it was in theaters.

Anywhoo, now that I'm an adult and have seen all sorts of unpleasantries I figured it was safe to give it a whirl; and, I must say, the kebob-ing looked a lot nastier in the poster than in the film. And in retrospect, even the poster is pretty tame.

For those of you in the audience who also pay Comcast to put TV into their house there is another, seasonally appropriate, slasher flick available this month - New Year's Evil, featuring the woman who played Pinky Tuscadero on Happy Days. (That one was pretty horrible though so watch at your own risk.)

Murderers, monsters and murderous monsters; new this week at the buffet...

2007-12-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

This week Giallo Biafra takes a seat in his Trattoria Of Terror for a taste of Lucio Fulci's A Lizard In A Woman's Skin.

Stately Wayne Manor embarks on a voyage to The Angry Red Planet in the latest installment of Manor On Movies.

And Bunny sets the wayback machine for the sexadelic seventies and Paul Naschy's Horror Rises From The Tomb.

Enjoy!

A fistful of Fulci; new this week at the buffet...

2007-12-05T19:10:00.000-05:00

In the most recent print version of the BMB, as seen in the most recent issue of c14, I made kind of a flippant remark about the collected works of Lucio Fulci. Which I probably shouldn't have done but, you know, things happen when you're on deadline.

My larger point was that I don't like really gross Italian zombie films, of which Fulci made many; including at least one with the word zombie in the title. Anywhoo, I should have known this would lead to us getting one or more non-gross non-zombie films he directed for review - and, in fact, we got two.

With that in mind, I present this week's menu options.

First join the Kommandant and be not entirely seduced by his sacrilegious sex comedy The Eroticist.

Then join me and consult Fulci's atmospheric thriller The Psychic.

Blood roses and lake monsters; new this week at the buffet...

2007-11-28T21:05:00.000-05:00

Join Bunny as she takes time to stop and smell "the first sex-horror film ever made", The Blood Rose.

Then join The Kommandant and be struck by '70s obscurity The Crater Lake Monster.

Once you go black... Emanuelle; new this week at the buffet...

2007-11-21T20:29:00.000-05:00

This week The Kommandant opens the Pandora's Box of Black Emanuelle's Box, Volume 2.

While Bunny does time with Eddie Romero's grittiest, grimiest, WIP-est flick, Black Mama, White Mama.